"My Hands," Jewel: I heard this on the local Christmas station. They added a backup choir and some chimes, and all of a sudden, "My Hands" is a Christmas song, despite having no holiday themed content whatsoever. That move is so brilliant that I'm surprised most soft adult contemporary pop stars don't try similar hijinx.
"Here Comes Santa Claus": You know what's awesome about this song? Very little, BUT, the last line "Let's give thanks to the Lord above 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight!" is certainly awesome. If there's one thing I do not do enough of, it's thanking a being who may or may not exist that a fictional character who everyone above the age of 12 knows does not exist is coming tonight, even though he's not because he doesn't exist. That sounds like a productive use of my time, right there.
"Hey There Delilah," Plain White T's: I like this song, and probably would not make fun of it if I were in a better mood, but that line about how the singer will be making history, well, I'm just not seeing the world being set on fire by three chord acoustical guitar and a five note singing range.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Of course, I'm an excellent driver.
I got a late start to work today, and in an attempt to make up time in bad weather, lost control of my vehicle and ended up in a cornfield.
Then I got to pull myself out of the car and stomp through snow banks looking for someone with a phone. After three houses, I finally found someone who was home. It was a mean old lady who refused to open the door for me, even when I made the universal "I really need to make a phone call" hand signal. I was soaking wet, and it was freezing outside. Evil, evil woman.
Luckily, some friendly dudes were moving into another house a few houses down, and they called a tow truck for me, who succeeded in pulling me out of the cornfield. In the process, some dude didn't see us, didn't slow down in time, and ended up driving into the cornfield himself. I felt bad.
Now the poor car has electrical problems of the "no power steering or lights" variety. Not only that, but the radio isn't working, killing off at least 80% of my blog's content.
Obviously, my car might have made it TO work, but driving home in bad weather at 10:45 pm without any headlights seemed a task I was not up for, so I had to turn around and go home, where I epically failed to find a car to use to get back to work and had to burn my last, precious sick day. I'm going to have to dip into personal days now. Luckily, the timekeepers allowed me to reschedule the holiday that I was planning to use for something fun from my birthday to tomorrow so I can try to get my car fixed with my new paycheck, which was going to be the first paycheck in almost two months that I was going to be able to keep.
And that's the crushing part. I had made it. I had lived for two months in abject poverty, but had managed to cover the bills without bumming any money off of my parents, and now I was going to be able to do things again. Except my car needs to be fixed now, and the next paycheck is going to go toward rent and utilities. My hopes of having money are dashed before I can even pick up the paycheck. The fact that these wounds are all self-inflicted doesn't make me feel the least bit better. Argh.
Then I got to pull myself out of the car and stomp through snow banks looking for someone with a phone. After three houses, I finally found someone who was home. It was a mean old lady who refused to open the door for me, even when I made the universal "I really need to make a phone call" hand signal. I was soaking wet, and it was freezing outside. Evil, evil woman.
Luckily, some friendly dudes were moving into another house a few houses down, and they called a tow truck for me, who succeeded in pulling me out of the cornfield. In the process, some dude didn't see us, didn't slow down in time, and ended up driving into the cornfield himself. I felt bad.
Now the poor car has electrical problems of the "no power steering or lights" variety. Not only that, but the radio isn't working, killing off at least 80% of my blog's content.
Obviously, my car might have made it TO work, but driving home in bad weather at 10:45 pm without any headlights seemed a task I was not up for, so I had to turn around and go home, where I epically failed to find a car to use to get back to work and had to burn my last, precious sick day. I'm going to have to dip into personal days now. Luckily, the timekeepers allowed me to reschedule the holiday that I was planning to use for something fun from my birthday to tomorrow so I can try to get my car fixed with my new paycheck, which was going to be the first paycheck in almost two months that I was going to be able to keep.
And that's the crushing part. I had made it. I had lived for two months in abject poverty, but had managed to cover the bills without bumming any money off of my parents, and now I was going to be able to do things again. Except my car needs to be fixed now, and the next paycheck is going to go toward rent and utilities. My hopes of having money are dashed before I can even pick up the paycheck. The fact that these wounds are all self-inflicted doesn't make me feel the least bit better. Argh.
The Bridge On the River Kwai
Movies about war frequently irritate me. A lot of them like to preach to the audience about how noble and selfless and courageous the soldiers are, and characterization is frequently one-sided: the noble Americans take on the evil Japanese, or Germans, or Vietnamese, or Russians, or what have you.
Thus, my expectations were not too high with The Bridge on the River Kwai. First, it's a war movie. Second, it was written in the fifties. Third, well, I don't have a third, but the fifties were pretty dang annoying, so it should count twice. My fears were pleasantly proven wrong.
TBOTRK works because it does not fall in the trap of painting good guys and bad guys, and every major character is portrayed sympathetically. About half an hour before the movie was over, it occurred to me that there was no possible ending available that I would like, because I felt invested enough in every character to care about what happened to them. Also, the message I took out of the movie was one about the inherent lunacy of war, and that the officers who run it are rather nuts and not heroes at all. This is one of only two possible messages that make for acceptable war movies, and I already watched "War is mind-breakingly terrible and utterly destroys everyone involved with it" in The Deer Hunter.
Finally, I'm not really old enough or enough of a classic movie buff to be familiar with the works of Alec Guinness outside of Obi Wan Kenobi. I made several hilarious jokes to myself early on involving Jedi Mind Tricks.
As for other complaints, the only female of note in the movie is Nurse Screws The Male Lead, so I could critique the utter lack of women in this one, but I'll give it a pass since it was made in 1957, when it was illegal for women to leave the house without the permission of their husbands. That's completely true. You can trust me; I was a history major.
So yes. Excellent movie. Well worth the buck I spent renting it. Time to update the Board.
Thus, my expectations were not too high with The Bridge on the River Kwai. First, it's a war movie. Second, it was written in the fifties. Third, well, I don't have a third, but the fifties were pretty dang annoying, so it should count twice. My fears were pleasantly proven wrong.
TBOTRK works because it does not fall in the trap of painting good guys and bad guys, and every major character is portrayed sympathetically. About half an hour before the movie was over, it occurred to me that there was no possible ending available that I would like, because I felt invested enough in every character to care about what happened to them. Also, the message I took out of the movie was one about the inherent lunacy of war, and that the officers who run it are rather nuts and not heroes at all. This is one of only two possible messages that make for acceptable war movies, and I already watched "War is mind-breakingly terrible and utterly destroys everyone involved with it" in The Deer Hunter.
Finally, I'm not really old enough or enough of a classic movie buff to be familiar with the works of Alec Guinness outside of Obi Wan Kenobi. I made several hilarious jokes to myself early on involving Jedi Mind Tricks.
As for other complaints, the only female of note in the movie is Nurse Screws The Male Lead, so I could critique the utter lack of women in this one, but I'll give it a pass since it was made in 1957, when it was illegal for women to leave the house without the permission of their husbands. That's completely true. You can trust me; I was a history major.
So yes. Excellent movie. Well worth the buck I spent renting it. Time to update the Board.
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Best Idea I've Had In Months
Oh man. Oh man.
It's rare that I have an idea that I like this much. And let me tell you, I like most of my ideas quite a bit.
I was reflecting on Casey's advice in the last non-YouTube post, about how maybe I should meet women outside of work. The trouble is that I don't actually belong to any organizations of any kind, and not being available from 2:30-10:45 every night sort of kills any interest one could have in joining one, so going places to meet women who I don't work with is tricky, since I'm not much of a clubber.
But then it occurred to me. The idea. The best idea I've had in months. I do, in fact, know a highly entertaining woman that I do not work with. I haven't spoken to her in about 20 months or so, but suffice to say that I'm planning on contacting her to see if she is available to hang out some time. My blog will become approximately one million times more awesome if this plan works, too. More than this I cannot say in case the plan falls through. If the plan works out, I'll make sure to write a post bringing everyone up to speed.
Stay tuned.
It's rare that I have an idea that I like this much. And let me tell you, I like most of my ideas quite a bit.
I was reflecting on Casey's advice in the last non-YouTube post, about how maybe I should meet women outside of work. The trouble is that I don't actually belong to any organizations of any kind, and not being available from 2:30-10:45 every night sort of kills any interest one could have in joining one, so going places to meet women who I don't work with is tricky, since I'm not much of a clubber.
But then it occurred to me. The idea. The best idea I've had in months. I do, in fact, know a highly entertaining woman that I do not work with. I haven't spoken to her in about 20 months or so, but suffice to say that I'm planning on contacting her to see if she is available to hang out some time. My blog will become approximately one million times more awesome if this plan works, too. More than this I cannot say in case the plan falls through. If the plan works out, I'll make sure to write a post bringing everyone up to speed.
Stay tuned.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Some Very Random Observations
1. I had a dream last night. I dreamed the sanitation department came into my apartment and took all my garbage out. It was about the best dream ever. You can imagine my sadness when I awoke to find that there was still garbage in my apartment.
2. Prior to typing this post, I was idling away time by reading other blogs and clicking a click pen. Then I read the click pen, and it says "Minnesota State High School League" on it. I don't have the damndest idea where it came from or why I have it.
3. I watched The Departed tonight. Since I haven't seen any of the other nominees for 2006, I can't tell you if it should have won or not. The only post-Oscar hype I remember was, "Hey, Martin Scorsese finally won," so I guess there was no big controversy. I can tell you that DiCaprio was pretty good in it, Matt Damon was Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson was Jack Nicholson, and the plot and dialogue were good enough to suck me in for the whole two and a half hours. I can also tell you that acting-wise, the supporting triumvirate of Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and Mark Wahlberg were superb.
As far as how good it was, it regrettably had the misfortune of following The Deer Hunter, a movie which left me with a severe case of second-hand post-traumatic stress disorder. The Departed was not quite that powerful, you could say.
Finally, if there was ever a movie that did not pass Bechdel's Rule, this is it. I think the only female character had all of 20 lines, all of which were said to either DiCaprio or Damon, and got credited below Mark Wahlberg. At any rate, time to strike it off the Big Board, and plan my next move.
4. Just as an indication to how not awesome my week was, up until today I considered the highlight working with Paula Who Stood Me Up A Few Months Back on Tuesday and keeping enough dignity to not ask her out despite her heavy flirting with me. Then today, I got asked out by a different coworker, and said yes, because I desperately need people to hang out with.
5. I think my life would only improve if I could somehow take it upon myself to stop going on dates with coworkers.
2. Prior to typing this post, I was idling away time by reading other blogs and clicking a click pen. Then I read the click pen, and it says "Minnesota State High School League" on it. I don't have the damndest idea where it came from or why I have it.
3. I watched The Departed tonight. Since I haven't seen any of the other nominees for 2006, I can't tell you if it should have won or not. The only post-Oscar hype I remember was, "Hey, Martin Scorsese finally won," so I guess there was no big controversy. I can tell you that DiCaprio was pretty good in it, Matt Damon was Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson was Jack Nicholson, and the plot and dialogue were good enough to suck me in for the whole two and a half hours. I can also tell you that acting-wise, the supporting triumvirate of Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and Mark Wahlberg were superb.
As far as how good it was, it regrettably had the misfortune of following The Deer Hunter, a movie which left me with a severe case of second-hand post-traumatic stress disorder. The Departed was not quite that powerful, you could say.
Finally, if there was ever a movie that did not pass Bechdel's Rule, this is it. I think the only female character had all of 20 lines, all of which were said to either DiCaprio or Damon, and got credited below Mark Wahlberg. At any rate, time to strike it off the Big Board, and plan my next move.
4. Just as an indication to how not awesome my week was, up until today I considered the highlight working with Paula Who Stood Me Up A Few Months Back on Tuesday and keeping enough dignity to not ask her out despite her heavy flirting with me. Then today, I got asked out by a different coworker, and said yes, because I desperately need people to hang out with.
5. I think my life would only improve if I could somehow take it upon myself to stop going on dates with coworkers.
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