Friday, November 21, 2008

Blogging Is Hard

I really have no explanation for why I'm suddenly the Worst. Blogger. Ever.

It might be the fact that maybe one in five blog posts I write somehow come back to haunt me for months and months after I write them.

It might be that my crippling doubt about how other people see me has been all but destroyed in the past while, and since that was the creative fuel for most of my self-deprecating posts, it leaves only the kinda pretentious posts where I bitch about how much I hate what's on the radio.

It might be that Kelli's car radio sucks, and I don't listen to the radio as much.

It might be that I have lots of entertaining, funny conversations with Kelli now on a daily basis, and so the one interesting conversation I had a week is no longer noteworthy enough to get its own blog post.

It might be that I'm a little bitter about my job and don't feel like I make any kind of impact.

On the other hand, my mind still runs at about eight zillion unrelated and mostly ridiculous thoughts per hour, so I could probably document some of them.

For example, I recently added a deck of cards to my collection. They are Halloween seasonal cards called "Tragic Royalty" and all the face cards have angry or twisted in anguish expressions. Many of them are clever, like the King of Hearts being a skeleton since there's a sword sticking in his head, and the Jack of Hearts turned toward the player with a patch over his usually hidden in profile eye.

Then, while at the liquor store, I found a pack of Jack Daniels cards which were just regular playing cards with Jack Daniels advertisments on the backs. I didn't buy them, but they did give me an idea: Drunken Royalty Cards. The face cards can all be in various states of debauchery, even organized by themes. The Hearts can be Horny Drunks, the Spades can be Violent Drunks, the Clubs can be Depressed Drunks, and the Diamonds can be Fun Drunks. I think this is a can't-miss idea, and since it took me all of two seconds to think of it, why hasn't anyone at the US Playing Card Co. figured it out yet?

In completely unrelated news, Kelli and I went to Wal-Mart a few nights ago after work and found ourselves surrounded by an elite squadron of lesbian employees putting stock on the shelves. I think at least 2 out of 3 employees we saw appeared to be a lesbian. Is this a corporate wide movement? I urge everyone to check out their local Wal-Mart during the night shift hours to find out if it is also a complete Lesbinanza.

Also Wal-Mart related: there is a night shift cashier at our Wal-Mart with mutton chops. Big, thick, Civil War-era Cavalry Commander mutton chops. The problem is that the cashier is a female. With mutton chops. Long, scraggly, impossible to ignore mutton chops. I hate being completely superficial, but shouldn't someone tell her that she should do something about those? I mean, my mom never hesitated to tell me when I looked unpresentable. And shouldn't Wal-Mart have some form of anti-mutton chop policy in its Cashier Dress Code?

Ok. That's all the wisdom I've got to offer for now. Hopefully I'll think of something else soon and get back in the habit of updating this thing.


liz said...

I missed you, but this post was worth the wait.

Re: the mutton chops. I diagnose PCOS.

Andy said...

I always miss the internets when I take my extended leaves.

Re: PCOS. Still, there's some kind of medication and treatment that can help with this, right?

Casey said...

Happy belated birthday!