1. Thursday: At work, I got invited to go to a bar. With a chick. That isn't dating anyone else. Felt pretty awesome.
2. Friday: Nobody asked how it went. I'm assuming it's because everyone knows how irresistible I am, and so there's only one way such an evening could go.
3. Well, actually, we stayed for awhile, yakked, spent a few bucks playing a touch screen game, and then she went home to make spaghetti. I went home and made a pizza.
4. Saturday: An old resident who had been discharged called me up and asked me to come hang out with him at his assisted living house so he could tell me what an awesome staff I was. I happily obliged. Then watched football and Live Free or Die Hard with my dad.
5. Sunday: Watched the Colts be stupid with Dad. Sorta watched the Cowboys/Giants tilt as well, but found it epically boring at times. Then we watched the Amazing Race and the premier of a miniseries called Comanche something-or-other. I don't know. I wouldn't have chosen it based on its premise or title, but it did feature Steve Zahn, and Steve Zahn is pretty much always entertaining.
So, I'm keeping busy by keeping myself not busy with other people. It's a good strategy so far, but it does not make for exciting blog posts. Hopefully, I'll start feeling creative sometime soon.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Well I've been smiling lately
...thinking about the good things to come.
In my life, that is. My blog will be as lame as ever. Sorry.
In my life, that is. My blog will be as lame as ever. Sorry.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Cultural Contributions of the Bush Administration
Seeing as how it's election time, I thought this would be an ideal time to reflect on some of the more positive contributions of George Bush's time in office. Yes, the entire presidency has been an unmitigated disaster, but that doesn't mean we can't remember the good times:
1. "I hear there's rumors on the internets." What did we do before we called the internets the internets? Does anyone not call the internets the internets at this point? Plus, I still don't know if the internets is singular or plural. Is it "The internets is abuzz with rumors," or "The internets are abuzz with rumors?" I don't know.
2. Talking like Donald Rumsfeld. Is it fun? Most certainly. Will it get on people's nerves? Without a doubt. Is it an effective way to get out of any argument, ever? Well, golly, yes. And while we're in the neighborhood...
3. The 1000 Styles of Donald Rumsfeld. In a somewhat related topic, the next time you read a serial/soap opera comic strip, preferably one that just features two people talking with no action going on, go find a friend or coworker and try to act it out. Crazy, hilariously awkward body language ensues almost every time. Mary Worth is particularly good for this. I think Donald Rumsfeld is the only person who actually gestures like that.
4. Weapons of Mass Destruction-related Program Activities: No one seems to love this one as much as I do, but I find it to be an extremely useful phrase to have around. For instance, right now I'm engaged in some Awesome Blog Posting-related Program Activities. Tomorrow night calls for some Blue Jean Washing-related Program Activities, as well as some Quesadilla Making-related Program Activities. I think it's the ridiculous phraseology combined with the desperation and refusal to admit he was wrong that really makes this so much fun.
1. "I hear there's rumors on the internets." What did we do before we called the internets the internets? Does anyone not call the internets the internets at this point? Plus, I still don't know if the internets is singular or plural. Is it "The internets is abuzz with rumors," or "The internets are abuzz with rumors?" I don't know.
2. Talking like Donald Rumsfeld. Is it fun? Most certainly. Will it get on people's nerves? Without a doubt. Is it an effective way to get out of any argument, ever? Well, golly, yes. And while we're in the neighborhood...
3. The 1000 Styles of Donald Rumsfeld. In a somewhat related topic, the next time you read a serial/soap opera comic strip, preferably one that just features two people talking with no action going on, go find a friend or coworker and try to act it out. Crazy, hilariously awkward body language ensues almost every time. Mary Worth is particularly good for this. I think Donald Rumsfeld is the only person who actually gestures like that.
4. Weapons of Mass Destruction-related Program Activities: No one seems to love this one as much as I do, but I find it to be an extremely useful phrase to have around. For instance, right now I'm engaged in some Awesome Blog Posting-related Program Activities. Tomorrow night calls for some Blue Jean Washing-related Program Activities, as well as some Quesadilla Making-related Program Activities. I think it's the ridiculous phraseology combined with the desperation and refusal to admit he was wrong that really makes this so much fun.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A Two-Fer
First, The Godfather Part II (1974)
There are people who say that The Godfather is the best movie ever made. These people are wrong. Even if you mob movies are your favorite thing in the world, The Godfather Part II is pretty much superior to its predecessor in all ways, including the vital realization that Michael Coreleone is really a jerk and that nobody in his family, or in any other for that matter, likes him.
Of course, it could be the fact that it wasn't based on the book, and thus I didn't really know what was going to happen, unlike with the first movie. Ah well.
Moving on, In the Heat Of the Night (1967):
You know what's nice? When things are exactly as awesome as you expect them to be. Since my exposure to this film consisted of reading the blurb about it on the back of the DVD case in Family Video and hearing that Sydney Poitier is an amazingly good actor, I had pretty high hopes for it. And it was great.
Part of the appeal for me probably came from simply relating to the plight of Virgil Tibbs. While being a victim of racial prejudice isn't a problem I have to deal with, I do have plenty of experience with being the smartest person in the room and not being able to hide my contempt for some of the incompetent people I'm working with. I understand the hatred Virgil has for close-minded small towns. I feel his frustration when he cannot leave when he wants. While I haven't been chased by a lynch mob in recent years, I've been regarded suspiciously by my peers ever since 6th grade, when it was no longer cool or acceptable to be smarter than them. And I understand the feeling of being resigned to a rather solitary existence both of the main characters express.
Also, Tibbs is able to solve the mystery without the modern conveniences of slow motion close-ups of the relevant evidence while techno music plays in the background, which should be impressive to everyone. He has to make due with some early funk instead.
So there we go. Let's update the sadly neglected Board.
There are people who say that The Godfather is the best movie ever made. These people are wrong. Even if you mob movies are your favorite thing in the world, The Godfather Part II is pretty much superior to its predecessor in all ways, including the vital realization that Michael Coreleone is really a jerk and that nobody in his family, or in any other for that matter, likes him.
Of course, it could be the fact that it wasn't based on the book, and thus I didn't really know what was going to happen, unlike with the first movie. Ah well.
Moving on, In the Heat Of the Night (1967):
You know what's nice? When things are exactly as awesome as you expect them to be. Since my exposure to this film consisted of reading the blurb about it on the back of the DVD case in Family Video and hearing that Sydney Poitier is an amazingly good actor, I had pretty high hopes for it. And it was great.
Part of the appeal for me probably came from simply relating to the plight of Virgil Tibbs. While being a victim of racial prejudice isn't a problem I have to deal with, I do have plenty of experience with being the smartest person in the room and not being able to hide my contempt for some of the incompetent people I'm working with. I understand the hatred Virgil has for close-minded small towns. I feel his frustration when he cannot leave when he wants. While I haven't been chased by a lynch mob in recent years, I've been regarded suspiciously by my peers ever since 6th grade, when it was no longer cool or acceptable to be smarter than them. And I understand the feeling of being resigned to a rather solitary existence both of the main characters express.
Also, Tibbs is able to solve the mystery without the modern conveniences of slow motion close-ups of the relevant evidence while techno music plays in the background, which should be impressive to everyone. He has to make due with some early funk instead.
So there we go. Let's update the sadly neglected Board.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Is there any lamer feeling
...than realizing that you haven't been updating your blog much, feeling like you should, but then realizing that you haven't really been turning your life experiences into amusing anecdotes for the consumption of the entire world, so you just sort of sit and stare at a screen, thinking of possible topics that could strike people's interest, only to read something along the lines of "...and work has been a little rough lately, and I'm always tired when I get home" and realize that you're even boring yourself with your boring, boring life?
Seriously, is there a lamer feeling than realizing you are no longer cool enough to be a blogger, a subset of the population known for not being cool enough to have active normal social lives? I think not.
Do you know how this happens? Long-term storylines have anti-climactic endings that are boring to report. The super cool dayshift position job I applied for two months ago? No one has heard anything about it. We think it's really an urban legend to keep us overqualifieds around.
The cute girls at Hardee's that always flirt with me? One quit, one was moved to the back, and their replacements aren't particularly interesting or fun to flirt with. I still get free stuff though.
Mark Trail? The villain confessed everything to Mark with little to no detective work on the part of our inexplicably present hero, and absolutely no face-punching. No one is even destroying or saving the environment this time. What's the point of a Mark Trail Storyline that can't incorporate these sound elements?
My plan to make stuff with a Quesadilla Maker? I left all my cheese at a friend's house, and haven't gotten any more yet.
My car troubles? Still existing unabated. Not going to stop anytime soon, as far as I can tell.
Everywhere I look, there's the potential for excitement, and everytime, nothing resembling excitement or action takes place. Do you know what the most exciting post topic I've come up with in the past week is? Probably not, since I live my life in complete isolation from the rest of the world, so I'll tell you: The Police's "Every Breath You Take": Does it belong on Oldies Radio?
Hell, I might as well write that post, and save it for another rainy week. Which will probably be next week. Until then, you can all decide on your own, and then check your answers with mine sometime next week. It's like an interactive blog game, except without that "fun" element that most games require.
Sheesh. I think I should end this one. I think I should not click publish while I'm at it.
Seriously, is there a lamer feeling than realizing you are no longer cool enough to be a blogger, a subset of the population known for not being cool enough to have active normal social lives? I think not.
Do you know how this happens? Long-term storylines have anti-climactic endings that are boring to report. The super cool dayshift position job I applied for two months ago? No one has heard anything about it. We think it's really an urban legend to keep us overqualifieds around.
The cute girls at Hardee's that always flirt with me? One quit, one was moved to the back, and their replacements aren't particularly interesting or fun to flirt with. I still get free stuff though.
Mark Trail? The villain confessed everything to Mark with little to no detective work on the part of our inexplicably present hero, and absolutely no face-punching. No one is even destroying or saving the environment this time. What's the point of a Mark Trail Storyline that can't incorporate these sound elements?
My plan to make stuff with a Quesadilla Maker? I left all my cheese at a friend's house, and haven't gotten any more yet.
My car troubles? Still existing unabated. Not going to stop anytime soon, as far as I can tell.
Everywhere I look, there's the potential for excitement, and everytime, nothing resembling excitement or action takes place. Do you know what the most exciting post topic I've come up with in the past week is? Probably not, since I live my life in complete isolation from the rest of the world, so I'll tell you: The Police's "Every Breath You Take": Does it belong on Oldies Radio?
Hell, I might as well write that post, and save it for another rainy week. Which will probably be next week. Until then, you can all decide on your own, and then check your answers with mine sometime next week. It's like an interactive blog game, except without that "fun" element that most games require.
Sheesh. I think I should end this one. I think I should not click publish while I'm at it.
Friday, January 4, 2008
A Quick Update Before I Sleep
1. Fiction suggestions: good call. I haven't read anything in a while, so I'm open to suggestions.
2. I have a friend! Woo WOO! It's my friend Satya from high school. She's maybe the only person I know besides myself who can pull off wearing the "This is what AWESOME Looks Like!" shirt. Today is her birthday, which gave me a great excuse to call her up and hang out with her tonight.
3. I attempted to set a serious cockblock on a coworker tonight. He's bragged about his mastery of patient abuse to me before, and is generally full of shit at all times, so I don't feel remotely bad about it. In fact, I'm going to be disappointed with myself if I failed in this task.
4. Furthermore, the whole episode revealed something to me. Contrary to everything I've ever been told about myself, I have a hard time getting women because I'm not cocky, condescending, and conceited enough. It turns out my coworkers full of shititude and ridiculously inflated and unchecked ego is part of the appeal. This is sad, because there's simply no way I can detach myself that far from reality. My greatness is more understated, you see. And only intelligent women can see it, I think. Regrettably, intelligent women appear to be in short supply.
5. I've broken two automobiles since my last post.
6. I've also gotten a shiny new Quesadilla Maker. I bought cheese tonight, but unfortunately I left it at Satya's, so it'll be a couple nights before I get it back and try it. I'm hoping this experience goes so well that I can develop a new feature for this space in addition to "Monday YouTube," "Best Movie Reviews," and the excessively verbiose "Thoughts on Songs I Heard on the Radio Today." The new one: "Things you can make with a Quesadilla Maker."
7. I got the Quesadilla in a white elephant gift exchange. There were a variety of interesting gifts, with "unused appliances received as gifts in years past" being the favorite. Counter space in young married couples is apparently at a premium. A sandwich maker, a milkshake maker, a quesadilla maker, and a bread maker all showed up. I brought two gifts: a travel size magnetic "Nine Men's Morris" game, and Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. Simon and Garfunkel were not well-received at first, mainly because I'm quite sure everyone in my family already owns it. However, it's value rose later, when all of my siblings realized they had merely succeeded in trading their unused appliances for equally unused appliances, and the goal of "trading down" in order to get something much smaller appeared. Thus, when my sister Abby threw the Simon and Garfunkel back to grab a holiday mug and bowl set, Paul threw in the Quesadilla Maker to get it off his hands for the smaller CD, and I valiantly grabbed it in exchange for the candy dishes I won. The Nine Men's Morris game went to Joe, who was a pioneer in the "Grab the smallest gift and make a run for it" strategy.
Other gifts of note in the exchange: My little brother Aaron brought a cup. I cheap plastic cup from a pizza place in Muncie. It was easily the lamest White Elephant gift in history, or would be, if it weren't for the fact that Casey and Joe brought an exploding coffee maker that is almost guaranteed to spray scalding water all over the kitchen.
8. I've watched The Godfather Part II. I should do a review of it. Also, I fell asleep three times watching The Godfather Part III.
2. I have a friend! Woo WOO! It's my friend Satya from high school. She's maybe the only person I know besides myself who can pull off wearing the "This is what AWESOME Looks Like!" shirt. Today is her birthday, which gave me a great excuse to call her up and hang out with her tonight.
3. I attempted to set a serious cockblock on a coworker tonight. He's bragged about his mastery of patient abuse to me before, and is generally full of shit at all times, so I don't feel remotely bad about it. In fact, I'm going to be disappointed with myself if I failed in this task.
4. Furthermore, the whole episode revealed something to me. Contrary to everything I've ever been told about myself, I have a hard time getting women because I'm not cocky, condescending, and conceited enough. It turns out my coworkers full of shititude and ridiculously inflated and unchecked ego is part of the appeal. This is sad, because there's simply no way I can detach myself that far from reality. My greatness is more understated, you see. And only intelligent women can see it, I think. Regrettably, intelligent women appear to be in short supply.
5. I've broken two automobiles since my last post.
6. I've also gotten a shiny new Quesadilla Maker. I bought cheese tonight, but unfortunately I left it at Satya's, so it'll be a couple nights before I get it back and try it. I'm hoping this experience goes so well that I can develop a new feature for this space in addition to "Monday YouTube," "Best Movie Reviews," and the excessively verbiose "Thoughts on Songs I Heard on the Radio Today." The new one: "Things you can make with a Quesadilla Maker."
7. I got the Quesadilla in a white elephant gift exchange. There were a variety of interesting gifts, with "unused appliances received as gifts in years past" being the favorite. Counter space in young married couples is apparently at a premium. A sandwich maker, a milkshake maker, a quesadilla maker, and a bread maker all showed up. I brought two gifts: a travel size magnetic "Nine Men's Morris" game, and Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. Simon and Garfunkel were not well-received at first, mainly because I'm quite sure everyone in my family already owns it. However, it's value rose later, when all of my siblings realized they had merely succeeded in trading their unused appliances for equally unused appliances, and the goal of "trading down" in order to get something much smaller appeared. Thus, when my sister Abby threw the Simon and Garfunkel back to grab a holiday mug and bowl set, Paul threw in the Quesadilla Maker to get it off his hands for the smaller CD, and I valiantly grabbed it in exchange for the candy dishes I won. The Nine Men's Morris game went to Joe, who was a pioneer in the "Grab the smallest gift and make a run for it" strategy.
Other gifts of note in the exchange: My little brother Aaron brought a cup. I cheap plastic cup from a pizza place in Muncie. It was easily the lamest White Elephant gift in history, or would be, if it weren't for the fact that Casey and Joe brought an exploding coffee maker that is almost guaranteed to spray scalding water all over the kitchen.
8. I've watched The Godfather Part II. I should do a review of it. Also, I fell asleep three times watching The Godfather Part III.
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