I have hated the Norwegian national anthem since before I started kindergarten for reasons we might touch upon another day. It involves a Commodore 64 and one of my sisters.
1. The name of the anthem is "Yes, We Love This Country." Look, people of Norway, I'm happy that you love your country, but this reeks of desperation. You might as well call, "It's a Dump, but it's OUR Dump."
2. The first stanza tells us why the Norwegians love their country: literally thousands of people live there, and it is above water. "Come to Norway! Not too crowded! You probably won't drown!"
3. The rest of the first verse tells us to think of our father and mother and the saga night that sends dreams to earth. I know from my early education via Commodore 64 that Saga was a Norse Goddess, but that's really the only clue I have to decipher that part.
4. The second verse details the great heroes of Norwegian history. Harald uniting the country, Sverre speaking against Rome. That sort of thing. As far as I can tell, there have been no Norwegians of note since their king was excommunicated by the Pope a thousand years ago. They should consider re-writing this verse so it includes A-Ha.
5. The next two verses are about how Norway has defended itself from invaders using farmers with axes and their wives. This leads me to believe that no foreign power really wanted Norway all that much. They also proudly state that they burned their land if they were defeated. Even Norwegians are ok with destroying Norway.
6. There's a nifty verse about how much they like Sweden and Denmark. Neither Sweden nor Denmark have a similar verse in their anthems about how much they like Norway. This is telling.
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