My computer died last night. Little to nothing to see here until it gets fixed, as my morals are far, far too stringent to allow me to blog while at work, unlike some of you devious internet slackers.
On the plus side, out of sheer nothing-to-do-itude, I'm going to be putting in a LOT of overtime on third shift until this situation is remedied.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Monday Morning YouTube
Is it Monday already? I'm unprepared, so I'll just go with a tribute to one of the oddest cartoon characters ever:
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Suave, Talented, and Heckled by Bossy Women
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Astrology, Simplified
Female Patient: Andy, you're a Libra, right?
Me: No.
FP: What are you then?
Me: Sagittarius.
FP: So you were born in December, right?
Me: Yeah, why do you know that?
FP: I'm a Scorpio because I was born in November.
Me: So what's that say about you?
FP: I dunno. Can you get me a horoscope?
Me: Sure. (Quickly prints out a Yahoo! Horoscope for her)
FP: "Scorpio: If someone is getting on your last nerve, today is the day to stop the madness."
Me: Want me to explain it to you?
FP: Yeah. NO! No!
Me: It won't take me long.
FP: NO! Ok.
Me: All right, who gets on your nerves the most around here?
FP: (Points at me)
Me: Right. And what's the best way to get me to stop?
FP: Do what you say.
Me: Right again. So your horoscope means "Listen to everything I say and do what I tell you to."
FP: But you tell me to do mean and evil things.
Me: No I don't. What mean and evil things do I tell you to do?
FP: Take a shower and go to classes.
Me: That's not mean and evil. That's the natural order of things, and it says down here not to fight it. Your horoscope says you should listen to me, do what I say, take a shower, and go to classes.
FP: (Walks away, crumples up the horoscope and throws it in the trash)
Me: No.
FP: What are you then?
Me: Sagittarius.
FP: So you were born in December, right?
Me: Yeah, why do you know that?
FP: I'm a Scorpio because I was born in November.
Me: So what's that say about you?
FP: I dunno. Can you get me a horoscope?
Me: Sure. (Quickly prints out a Yahoo! Horoscope for her)
FP: "Scorpio: If someone is getting on your last nerve, today is the day to stop the madness."
Me: Want me to explain it to you?
FP: Yeah. NO! No!
Me: It won't take me long.
FP: NO! Ok.
Me: All right, who gets on your nerves the most around here?
FP: (Points at me)
Me: Right. And what's the best way to get me to stop?
FP: Do what you say.
Me: Right again. So your horoscope means "Listen to everything I say and do what I tell you to."
FP: But you tell me to do mean and evil things.
Me: No I don't. What mean and evil things do I tell you to do?
FP: Take a shower and go to classes.
Me: That's not mean and evil. That's the natural order of things, and it says down here not to fight it. Your horoscope says you should listen to me, do what I say, take a shower, and go to classes.
FP: (Walks away, crumples up the horoscope and throws it in the trash)
Monday, January 22, 2007
Monday Morning YouTube
I'll probably post something about my favorite football team later on, but for now I'll get the YouTube clip up.
Long before I ever got to see it, I always imagined this video would look something like this.
Long before I ever got to see it, I always imagined this video would look something like this.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Forty Cents
It has probably become apparent to all 5 readers of this space that I spend a bit too much time at night wasting away the hours looking for cool videos on YouTube instead of doing something with my life. I wish I could say this is a myth, but it is true. In my defense, looking at videos on YouTube and writing on a blog qualify me for Time's Person of the Year '06, so I guess you could say I'm going places.
But back to the subject at hand: YouTube. I'm always disturbed by the comments on the video pages. They generally make my brain hurt. First, they frequently contain many grammatical and spelling errors. I can forgive the occasional typo, but when every word of the comment is misspelled, there's a problem. Second, in addition to horrible editing, people generally get into flame wars with the other random people, usually calling them insults that are personally offensive to me. Third, even the few commenters who are able to spell and be civil generally post nonsense.
The video that inspired this was "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe. Since I never watched MTV because I valued my intelligence way too much, I missed a lot of the videos for the songs I liked in high school, and watch them now that I have the time and the technology. There are currently 9 comments, and none are remotely worth reading. If I commented on YouTube, I would leave responses to all of them. Here's a sampling of what I would say:
Comment #1: "I love this song! Take me back to the late 90s now please! There should be a section devoted just to the 90s." (because nothing says fun-loving 90s like a song about a murder-suicide)
2: "This song brings me so many memories and makes me think about so many things that I should have done...it basically makes me feel depressed but it's so beautiful and meaninful tho...love it" (wait, things you should've done like NOT leave and ignore your suicidal ex-girlfriend? Or not live in denial about your involvement in the whole thing? And if you had those memories, why would you love this song?)
6: "This song is so sad and beautiful... it's about how the lead singer's girlfriend had an abortion when they were in high school." (Unless it's now possible to have an abortion using only a shoeful of rice, I'm thinking you got this song mixed up with "Brick" by Ben Folds Five. Actually listening to the lyrics will help you avoid mistakes like these in the future.)
Now, if President Bush were here, he'd probably say something like "It's irresponsible of you to criticize other people's comments when you don't have any comments of your own," to which I'd say, "It's difficult to have a discussion with people who don't even bother paying attention to the song."
Didn't expect this post to end up here, but I suppose when you set out to make fun of stupid people, you often end up making subtle political commentary. Plus it gives me an idea: Coming Tomorrow: a poetry explication detailing how The Freshmen predicted the result of the Iraq War. A good time shall be had by all.
But back to the subject at hand: YouTube. I'm always disturbed by the comments on the video pages. They generally make my brain hurt. First, they frequently contain many grammatical and spelling errors. I can forgive the occasional typo, but when every word of the comment is misspelled, there's a problem. Second, in addition to horrible editing, people generally get into flame wars with the other random people, usually calling them insults that are personally offensive to me. Third, even the few commenters who are able to spell and be civil generally post nonsense.
The video that inspired this was "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe. Since I never watched MTV because I valued my intelligence way too much, I missed a lot of the videos for the songs I liked in high school, and watch them now that I have the time and the technology. There are currently 9 comments, and none are remotely worth reading. If I commented on YouTube, I would leave responses to all of them. Here's a sampling of what I would say:
Comment #1: "I love this song! Take me back to the late 90s now please! There should be a section devoted just to the 90s." (because nothing says fun-loving 90s like a song about a murder-suicide)
2: "This song brings me so many memories and makes me think about so many things that I should have done...it basically makes me feel depressed but it's so beautiful and meaninful tho...love it" (wait, things you should've done like NOT leave and ignore your suicidal ex-girlfriend? Or not live in denial about your involvement in the whole thing? And if you had those memories, why would you love this song?)
6: "This song is so sad and beautiful... it's about how the lead singer's girlfriend had an abortion when they were in high school." (Unless it's now possible to have an abortion using only a shoeful of rice, I'm thinking you got this song mixed up with "Brick" by Ben Folds Five. Actually listening to the lyrics will help you avoid mistakes like these in the future.)
Now, if President Bush were here, he'd probably say something like "It's irresponsible of you to criticize other people's comments when you don't have any comments of your own," to which I'd say, "It's difficult to have a discussion with people who don't even bother paying attention to the song."
Didn't expect this post to end up here, but I suppose when you set out to make fun of stupid people, you often end up making subtle political commentary. Plus it gives me an idea: Coming Tomorrow: a poetry explication detailing how The Freshmen predicted the result of the Iraq War. A good time shall be had by all.
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