Bullets of Filler Material

Blogging is hard, and I remember now how much I suck at it. Until something sufficiently wacky and interesting happens, we resort to the dreaded bulleted list.

Bullet No. 1: I took my car to my mechanic to get my tire patched and plugged. He took one look at the pathetic, treadless slab of rubber I dragged in, had pity on me, and informed me that the tire was not worth the $15 I was about to put into it. I explained that I didn't have any money for a full set and just needed something to get me a drivable vehicle again. After inspecting my car and his used tire selection, he found two almost but not quite as bad used tires and discovered that my high quality rear tires could be rotated to the front while his used tires could work fine in the back, and then did it all for $30, cutting me a nice deal because "You've thrown a lot of business my way," which is a nice way of saying "Thank you for driving shitty death traps." So a big shout out and thank you to my friends at Ronan's in Richmond.

Bullet No. 2: I just walked to the VP down the block and purchased a Powerball ticket and a $3 bottle of clearanced wine (Gallo Family Vineyards Chardonnay). Convenience store professionals refer to this combo as "The Cry For Help."

Bullet No. 3: My other ancient car, the 1990 Plymouth Horizon, also has a flat tire from the alley debris from the idiot across the alley. Unfortunately, due to the advanced state of rust on the lugnuts, I am unable to change it myself. "But Andy," you say, "just loosen the lugnuts before you jack it up." Oh, I tried. It turns out, all evidence to the contrary, I am actually strong enough to lift the car off the ground and spin the tire before the lugnuts will loosen. On the plus side, this means I can probably carry the car to the mechanic with relative ease.

Bullet No. 4: If this clearanced wine is at all drinkable, every one of siblings is getting a bottle for Christmas.

Bullet No. 5: Blogger's examples of post labels, known as "tags" to people who actually speak Internet, are "scooters, vacation, fall." I'm going on record right now by saying that taking a scooter vacation in the fall would be a ton of fun. Unless by "fall" they mean "falling off the scooter." That would be less fun.

Bullet No. 6: Speaking of scooters, I went running the other day. I ran by a group of people congregating outside of a garage. One of them yelled, "There goes killer! Watch out, don't fall!" at me, I assume, as there were no other people on the street. I was utterly confused until I saw that he rode in on a scooter, and thus was probably intoxicated. I should refer him to the VP, or better yet, trade him a case of my clearance wine for his scooter.

Bullet No. 7: The VP also has Mad Dog 20/20 on clearance. Dad will be getting one of those.

The Year Andy Didn't Save Christmas

While attempting to wrap Christmas presents tonight, I realized I forgot two crucial things when I went shopping:

1. Wrapping paper. Luckily I have a plethora of plastic shopping bags.

2. Phoebe's present. This is much less forgivable, because I'm easily Phoebe's favorite uncle. How did I forget hers? A cursory glance around my apartment revealed the following items that a 2 year old girl might enjoy (and behold my bulleted list inside a bulleted list. I'm upping the blogging ante):

1. A green stuffed fish. Good for tossing around, and quite cuddly. Problem is, it was a gift from way back in the day, and regifting never sits well with me.
2. A dreidel. I have no clue where it came from, and I'm equally clueless about how to play. Does it have something to do with gambling? Would it be sacrilege to give a dreidel for Christmas?
3. A They Might Be Giants CD. Can you think of someone who wouldn't enjoy one of these? I cannot, but I'm not sure I'm willing to part with mine or how much she'd enjoy it.
4. Mardi Gras beads. I'm equally unsure of where these came from. I think the cafeteria at Wabash gave them out one year on Ash Wednesday, probably because they were hopelessly inept. Giving Mardi Gras beads to a very small child seems inherently wrong, though.
5. The Muppets Take Manhattan? When did I get this? And why is it still in its shrink wrap? I think we have a winner. I'll throw in the Mardi Gras beads and none will be the wiser.

Except that I'm admitting the whole thing on the internets, of course.