It was pretty cool. I want to come back to it. I think I'll work my way slowly.
Where to start? BerryBird tagged me with a meme. It involves posting my desktop. My desktop is not the slightest bit cool. I need to cool it up a little before I participate.
A research study was done that showed that of all segments of the workforce, direct care staff at mental institutions and nursing homes are the most likely to suffer from depression. You know what's hard? Seeing your coworkers being depressed and feeling useless. You know what's harder? Actually taking care of people while you're depressed.
What else we got here? I'm sort of kind of dating someone now. It's my coworker Rachel. She was dating someone else when she started working at the hospital, who is also employed at the hospital, which has made for several uncomfortable moments. Also, the other interested party was perusing my blog for awhile, looking for dirt to dig up on me. Most people, it turns out, publish all their dirty laundry on the internets for the whole world to read. When I told Jeff this, he said, "What was he going to find out? Your new awesome method for ranking your favorite bands?" I told Jeff to shut up. This was another reason I didn't care to recount my life adventures for awhile. I felt it would keep some wounds open a little too long, and I don't particularly enjoy hurting people. In fact, I don't enjoy hurting people at all. Ever, really.
But, Rachel has a daughter, which means when I'm sort of kind of casually seeing her, we have to be at her house, which means we mostly watch movies, and since Rachel has a soft spot for low-budget B movies that went direct to DVD, I get to see quite the eclectic mix. I've watched a few zillion movies over the past couple of months. I could easily turn this into "Andy Comments on Movies, Both Silly and Serious." Here are a few vignettes:
A Beautiful Mind: Dad recommended this. I really enjoyed it, which surprised me, as it stars Russell Crowe. However, it's about a subject near and dear to me, so I got into it.
Cheerleader Ninjas: You know, I don't ask for a lot in movies. They don't need to be smart, or particularly funny, or even good. They just need to entertain me for at least an hour if its your typical 90 minute movie. You'd think a movie called Cheerleader Ninjas could accomplish this meager task. After all, how hard could it be to make Cheerleader Ninjas. You take cheerleaders, give them katanas, send them on a mission, and zany sexy hijinx ensue. None of that happens in this movie. For that matter, nothing happens in this movie. At least, nothing that makes a damn bit of sense. The cheerleaders aren't even frickin' ninjas, for pete's sake. The movie ends up being one long in 'joke' about how bad and stupid the movie is. Gyah. I can't even write how bad this was. All I wanted was some cheerleader ninjas.
Frankenfish: On the other side of the low-budget coin we have this gem. Do we have giant, man-eating mutated fish? Why yes, we do. Do we have a creepy locale for these fish to hunt near helpless humans? But of course. Do we have easily recognizable character archetypes, allowing astute observers to try to predict order of death? We certainly do. Were the deaths gruesome, yet memorable and creative? You know it. Was there at least one decent actor in the cast? Actually, yes there was. Was there at least one absolutely terrible actor? Yes, but she was hot, so we forgave her. See, Cheerleader Ninjas people? This movie making stuff isn't so complex after all. Frankenfish even managed to work gratuitous nudity into the plot more smoothly than Cheerleader Ninjas, and there was nary a cheerleader in sight for the entire course of the plot. All of these pluses let me forgive the fact that the ending was a bit rushed and anti-climactic. Oh well.
Rain Man: When I tell people I saw Rain Man for the first time a couple weeks ago, they look at me like I'm crazy. I think it might be in contention for my favorite ever, up there with O Brother, Where Art Thou? and Benny and Joon, which is surprising since it co-stars Tom Cruise. You know what my favorite line is? "Definitely trapped... in some sort of box... with no tv... and 10 minutes 'til Wapner." It's followed up by "They're making legal history in there, Ray, and you're missing it. LEGAL HISTORY!"
In other Dustin Hoffman-related news, I saw The Graduate for the first time ever, and the ending of Wayne's World 2 is suddenly much more entertaining.
Ok, that'll do for now. I'll try to keep up a little better now.
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
The Big Problem
I've started this post a couple times already and given up because it makes me sound like an uppity jerk, but I suppose I have to get it out of the way at some point.
Barrier #2 to me finding a relationship: Liking people.
I'm a friendly person. I smile a lot, and I'm rather skilled at making small talk. If nothing else, I can keep quiet and listen to other people with some degree of attention. And I get along with most people I meet, so I don't exactly go out and start fights.
However, I don't usually find people that I feel I would enjoy spending large amounts of time with. Most of the time, I feel I can tolerate people for about 30 minutes before I'm going to become bored. People just seem to run out of personality or amusing anecdotes, or they're too afraid people will think they're weird, or something. I don't know. The bottom line is that I'm indifferent to most of the people I meet. Part of the problem is probably that the place that I come from is a small town. They think so small; they use small words.
To be fair, I don't really invite people to open up to me very well. I'm pretty sarcastic and critical, as most of the readers of this space will already know from years of hanging out with me. Usually I'm sarcastic and critical in a fun and non-offensive sort of way, but if people don't really know me that well, I can imagine them being confused and upset by my usual conversation.
This, by the way, is the main reason I do not drink. People lose their conversation filters when they've had a little to drink. For most people, this just involves the filters that stop them from saying stupid stuff that doesn't make any sense. For me, it takes a few filters to turn the mean and abusive things I think on a regular basis into a harmless little witticism, so intoxication generally ends up with me making a few new enemies and no one having fun.
But back to the subject at hand: liking people. Christy, the LPN on my unit, is the opposite of me: she either loves or hates everyone she has ever met. As such, she has gone through her life with no shortage of friends, but plenty of enemies as well and no shortage of avoidable unpleasant drama, from the way she tells it. I am going through life with no shortage of friendly well-wishers, in that they don't wish me any particular harms, and very little unpleasant drama. Most of the drama I have had in my life has ended with me in a deep situational depression, so I'm not inclined to change this one any time soon. If I were, this would be more like a hurdle then a barrier.
This is a long rambling post that I'm not particularly proud of, but I'm posting it to get it out of the way. I should probably add that if you're reading this blog, I like you, even you people I don't know who found me through my blog-wide famous sibling, like Sara.
Barrier #2 to me finding a relationship: Liking people.
I'm a friendly person. I smile a lot, and I'm rather skilled at making small talk. If nothing else, I can keep quiet and listen to other people with some degree of attention. And I get along with most people I meet, so I don't exactly go out and start fights.
However, I don't usually find people that I feel I would enjoy spending large amounts of time with. Most of the time, I feel I can tolerate people for about 30 minutes before I'm going to become bored. People just seem to run out of personality or amusing anecdotes, or they're too afraid people will think they're weird, or something. I don't know. The bottom line is that I'm indifferent to most of the people I meet. Part of the problem is probably that the place that I come from is a small town. They think so small; they use small words.
To be fair, I don't really invite people to open up to me very well. I'm pretty sarcastic and critical, as most of the readers of this space will already know from years of hanging out with me. Usually I'm sarcastic and critical in a fun and non-offensive sort of way, but if people don't really know me that well, I can imagine them being confused and upset by my usual conversation.
This, by the way, is the main reason I do not drink. People lose their conversation filters when they've had a little to drink. For most people, this just involves the filters that stop them from saying stupid stuff that doesn't make any sense. For me, it takes a few filters to turn the mean and abusive things I think on a regular basis into a harmless little witticism, so intoxication generally ends up with me making a few new enemies and no one having fun.
But back to the subject at hand: liking people. Christy, the LPN on my unit, is the opposite of me: she either loves or hates everyone she has ever met. As such, she has gone through her life with no shortage of friends, but plenty of enemies as well and no shortage of avoidable unpleasant drama, from the way she tells it. I am going through life with no shortage of friendly well-wishers, in that they don't wish me any particular harms, and very little unpleasant drama. Most of the drama I have had in my life has ended with me in a deep situational depression, so I'm not inclined to change this one any time soon. If I were, this would be more like a hurdle then a barrier.
This is a long rambling post that I'm not particularly proud of, but I'm posting it to get it out of the way. I should probably add that if you're reading this blog, I like you, even you people I don't know who found me through my blog-wide famous sibling, like Sara.
Monday, January 8, 2007
Change of Heart
When we last left off, I was about to go into some detail about the various barriers I have when it comes to establishing any form of relationship. So with no further ado...
Barrier #1: Meeting People.
Put simply, I don't ever meet anybody new, and I'm rarely in a good situation for meeting new people. I've generally been content with having a few close friends as opposed to plenty of acquaintances, so I've never made much of an effort to go out and meet the locals, and it's worked for me. Until now, I always got by on my own, and I never really cared.
But now it chills me to the bone.
The list of places where I do meet new people is depressingly small. Since I do not want to add another bulleted list to this blog quite yet, you'll be forced to read it in prose. First, there's the various fast food chains and convenience stores that I frequent on my way to work. As a former gas station attendant, I've swapped more than a few war stories with the good people at the VP where I go on my breaks from work.
Second, work. I generally get along well with my coworkers, and we share many hilarious stories of our past exploits. We're all pretty new to the hospital, so it's nice, tight bonding experience every night. However, I usually only work with the 7 people on my unit's shift, so I don't really get the chance to meet a whole lot of people who are not mentally ill while I'm at work.
Third, the occasional random people Jeff knows when I hang out with him.
That really does it for places I meet people. Since I'm not a particularly outgoing person myself, I don't end up meeting a large number of new people in any given period of time, and at times I can be surly enough to actually repel people from miles away. Also, working in the evening shift regularly prohibits me from joining any form of civic activity that would lead me to meeting more people, and since I can never go to sleep when I get off work, I'm always up for at least half the night doing pretty much nothing on weeks when Jeff works thirds.
And the night goes on so very slow.
Barrier #1: Meeting People.
Put simply, I don't ever meet anybody new, and I'm rarely in a good situation for meeting new people. I've generally been content with having a few close friends as opposed to plenty of acquaintances, so I've never made much of an effort to go out and meet the locals, and it's worked for me. Until now, I always got by on my own, and I never really cared.
But now it chills me to the bone.
The list of places where I do meet new people is depressingly small. Since I do not want to add another bulleted list to this blog quite yet, you'll be forced to read it in prose. First, there's the various fast food chains and convenience stores that I frequent on my way to work. As a former gas station attendant, I've swapped more than a few war stories with the good people at the VP where I go on my breaks from work.
Second, work. I generally get along well with my coworkers, and we share many hilarious stories of our past exploits. We're all pretty new to the hospital, so it's nice, tight bonding experience every night. However, I usually only work with the 7 people on my unit's shift, so I don't really get the chance to meet a whole lot of people who are not mentally ill while I'm at work.
Third, the occasional random people Jeff knows when I hang out with him.
That really does it for places I meet people. Since I'm not a particularly outgoing person myself, I don't end up meeting a large number of new people in any given period of time, and at times I can be surly enough to actually repel people from miles away. Also, working in the evening shift regularly prohibits me from joining any form of civic activity that would lead me to meeting more people, and since I can never go to sleep when I get off work, I'm always up for at least half the night doing pretty much nothing on weeks when Jeff works thirds.
And the night goes on so very slow.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
On Being Single
I am currently single. I have been for most of my life. In fact, last year I was in only the second major relationship of my life, and I am now a quarter of a century old.
The first major relationship was very unpleasant, not unlike dating a totalitarian tyrant. It was a long distance relationship with a very paranoid and demanding person who was convinced I was cheating on her at any possible moment and actively looked for any sign whatsoever to prove her correct. As such, the mere thought that another woman on the planet might be attractive was taken as proof that I was leaving her at any given moment. I was convicted of many thought crimes in a vast number of show trials. Once I laughed at a joke a waitress told us. Another time I said hello to a ride attendant at Cedar Point. This was all it took for me to be subjected to the Spanish Inquisition. I didn't go into that relationship expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition. Nobody does, I'm guessing.
When that relationship ended, I was a little bummed, as I responded to those accusations not by telling her to get a grip and grow up, but with a steadfast determination to prove that she was wrong, wrong, wrong and I was right, only to be dumped in the end. Still, it was quite the burden off the shoulders, and when I got over it, I was in no hurry to ever get in a relationship again.
Until last year, when I fell ass backwards into a relationship with my boss, Dawn. This relationship was different in that it was a lot of fun, and not stressful in the slightest, to me anyways. She apparently was highly stressed about a number of issues that she never brought up to me but felt were worth dumping me over anyways, out of the blue. This messed up my world for a few months, but my world is largely put back together as it was, with one major difference.
For the first time in my life now, I am conscious of the fact that I am single. Being single seems odd to me now, like it's not the way I'm supposed to be anymore. Everyone I know is getting in a relationship of some sort, and most of the people I graduated with appear to be well on their way toward some sort of long-term committed relationship.
The obvious answer to this is that maybe I should begin looking for a relationship, but I've discovered I have more than a few deficits in that department. Since this post is beginning to grow long, and since it will give me writing material for a week or so, I'm going to put a "To Be Continued" or a "First in a Five Part Series" on this post and let it go for now.
Tune in next time: Same bat time, same bat channel!
The first major relationship was very unpleasant, not unlike dating a totalitarian tyrant. It was a long distance relationship with a very paranoid and demanding person who was convinced I was cheating on her at any possible moment and actively looked for any sign whatsoever to prove her correct. As such, the mere thought that another woman on the planet might be attractive was taken as proof that I was leaving her at any given moment. I was convicted of many thought crimes in a vast number of show trials. Once I laughed at a joke a waitress told us. Another time I said hello to a ride attendant at Cedar Point. This was all it took for me to be subjected to the Spanish Inquisition. I didn't go into that relationship expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition. Nobody does, I'm guessing.
When that relationship ended, I was a little bummed, as I responded to those accusations not by telling her to get a grip and grow up, but with a steadfast determination to prove that she was wrong, wrong, wrong and I was right, only to be dumped in the end. Still, it was quite the burden off the shoulders, and when I got over it, I was in no hurry to ever get in a relationship again.
Until last year, when I fell ass backwards into a relationship with my boss, Dawn. This relationship was different in that it was a lot of fun, and not stressful in the slightest, to me anyways. She apparently was highly stressed about a number of issues that she never brought up to me but felt were worth dumping me over anyways, out of the blue. This messed up my world for a few months, but my world is largely put back together as it was, with one major difference.
For the first time in my life now, I am conscious of the fact that I am single. Being single seems odd to me now, like it's not the way I'm supposed to be anymore. Everyone I know is getting in a relationship of some sort, and most of the people I graduated with appear to be well on their way toward some sort of long-term committed relationship.
The obvious answer to this is that maybe I should begin looking for a relationship, but I've discovered I have more than a few deficits in that department. Since this post is beginning to grow long, and since it will give me writing material for a week or so, I'm going to put a "To Be Continued" or a "First in a Five Part Series" on this post and let it go for now.
Tune in next time: Same bat time, same bat channel!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
