Sunday, January 7, 2007

On Being Single

I am currently single. I have been for most of my life. In fact, last year I was in only the second major relationship of my life, and I am now a quarter of a century old.

The first major relationship was very unpleasant, not unlike dating a totalitarian tyrant. It was a long distance relationship with a very paranoid and demanding person who was convinced I was cheating on her at any possible moment and actively looked for any sign whatsoever to prove her correct. As such, the mere thought that another woman on the planet might be attractive was taken as proof that I was leaving her at any given moment. I was convicted of many thought crimes in a vast number of show trials. Once I laughed at a joke a waitress told us. Another time I said hello to a ride attendant at Cedar Point. This was all it took for me to be subjected to the Spanish Inquisition. I didn't go into that relationship expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition. Nobody does, I'm guessing.

When that relationship ended, I was a little bummed, as I responded to those accusations not by telling her to get a grip and grow up, but with a steadfast determination to prove that she was wrong, wrong, wrong and I was right, only to be dumped in the end. Still, it was quite the burden off the shoulders, and when I got over it, I was in no hurry to ever get in a relationship again.

Until last year, when I fell ass backwards into a relationship with my boss, Dawn. This relationship was different in that it was a lot of fun, and not stressful in the slightest, to me anyways. She apparently was highly stressed about a number of issues that she never brought up to me but felt were worth dumping me over anyways, out of the blue. This messed up my world for a few months, but my world is largely put back together as it was, with one major difference.

For the first time in my life now, I am conscious of the fact that I am single. Being single seems odd to me now, like it's not the way I'm supposed to be anymore. Everyone I know is getting in a relationship of some sort, and most of the people I graduated with appear to be well on their way toward some sort of long-term committed relationship.

The obvious answer to this is that maybe I should begin looking for a relationship, but I've discovered I have more than a few deficits in that department. Since this post is beginning to grow long, and since it will give me writing material for a week or so, I'm going to put a "To Be Continued" or a "First in a Five Part Series" on this post and let it go for now.

Tune in next time: Same bat time, same bat channel!

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