"Don't Stop Believing," Journey: I swear this song haunts me. Anytime I'm in a bad mood, suddenly Journey appears on my radio, as if to add insult to injury. I know this song was meant to be uplifting or something, but Lord does it suck. Plus, I end up singing random snippets of it for a couple hours. I am 98% sure this song will somehow be the last thing I hear in my life.
"Come and Get It," Badfinger: I have no idea why this is considered an acceptable rock song. Yes, it's catchy. Yes, it's easy to sing along to. But it lacks elements like verses, or a bridge, or cool solos, or interesting guitar riffs, or cool instrumentation, or really anything outside of "If you want it, here it is, come and get it." Did Paul McCartney just write this on a napkin, throw it in his suit pocket, forget about it for a couple years, then just give it to Badfinger so they'd have something to sing? I cannot think of a single other song that has no verses whatsoever.
"Angie," The Rolling Stones: Have I mentioned this song in this occasional feature before? Seems like I have. I love the poignant interplay between the violin and the piano in this one enough to make me consider starting a rock band with just a piano and a violin. But the thing I really love is Mick Jagger's singing in it, because it's so loose and not concerned with being exactly on pitch that I can sing along with it even though it's probably way out of my normal range and still sound good.
"The House of the Rising Sun," The Animals: The Animals, on the other hand, believe in singing at the very edge of my normal range perfectly on pitch, which usually means I sound terrible for a couple beats when I sing along with it. This makes me sad, because I really like this song and I want to sing along with it but hate sounding terrible. The discomfort this situation causes always makes me want to change the station, but I stay for the cool organ solo. I'm a sucker for cool organ solos.
"Sultans of Swing," Dire Straits: Dire Straits, meanwhile, somehow made a music career out of nonchalantly breathing four notes for three and a half minutes backed by catchy guitar riffs. I'm pretty sure tone deaf toddlers could handle Dire Straits' vocals with minimal difficulty. I like the groovin' guitar solo in the middle of this one. I suppose the lesson here is that decent lyrics, catchy guitar riffs, and groovin' solos can mask ridiculously simple vocals, because I never noticed them until I sang along with it after struggling mightily with The Animals.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Somebody needs a vacation
First, sinuses... sini... whatever you call yourselves, I'm sick of you. Because you always make me sick. I'm not sure what you're supposed to do, what vital part you play in the mystery of human anatomy. I like to think that you're probably part of the immune system, and it's your job to make sure I don't get sick. Well, news for you, sinuses, you suck at it. Damn you and all the gallons of day-glo green snot you produce.
Second, car, why do you continue to irritate me? It wasn't cool when the vacuum that prevents the engine from sucking all the gasoline straight into the engine when I press on the pedal broke. It wasn't cool when heating knob broke, preventing me from doing anything but defrosting my windshield. It wasn't cool when the tire spontaneously developed a hole. Previously, it was not cool the front headlight literally flew off the car, and it wasn't cool when the tie rod decided to snap. It was sort of cool when you ran over that ladder, but that's not cool enough to redeem you. Gyah.
Third, health insurance, why do you not cover any of the prescriptions I want to buy? Wait, that's because I selected "Healthy young single male insurance." I'll give you a pass.
Fourth, JJ, why do you continue to puke on my floor right in the doorway where I absolutely have to walk, usually without shoes on? And why did you knock my cough syrup under that damnable bike in my apartment, where I wouldn't find it this morning? Why do you spend all night meowing at a wall? And what in the name of all things holy did you do with my glasses?
Fifth, Cute Chick That Works At Meijer on Night Shift, why do you look the other way anytime I'm walking toward you? You are supposed to smile and flirt shamelessly with me, which will no doubt make me uncomfortable and all stammery. Please correct this in the future.
All right. I'm not all gripes; no, I'm all for solutions. Here are my solutions.
1. Sinusectomy.
Pros: Sinuses will never be infected again.
Cons: Probably not covered by worthless insurance (see solution 3).
2. Give the car to charity, buy a scooter.
Pros: Better gas mileage, at least as much climate control.
Cons: Difficult to pick up groceries. Or chicks.
3. Move to Sweden.
Pros: Fish! Meatballs! Chefs! Bikini Teams! The lovely lakes. The wonderful telephone system. Many interesting furry animals. And the Majestic Moose!
Cons: A moose once bit my sister. No really, she was carving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given to her by Svenge, her brother-in-law, an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist," "Fillings of Passion," and "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink." Mind you, moose bites can be pretty nasty.
4. Squirt guns. Lots of friggin' squirt guns.
Pros: Cheap.
Cons: Since I'm not around when he does it, it'll seem like random meanness instead of legitimate punishment.
5. Actually go up and talk to her.
Pros: I would get noticed.
Cons: I would get noticed.
OR
5. Flirt with the cute girls who work at Hardees instead.
Pros: They usually flirt with me first. There is two of them.
Cons: It's probably because I'm the only customer who isn't a smelly 55 year old obese trucker. Also, I can't afford to eat at Hardee's regularly.
Second, car, why do you continue to irritate me? It wasn't cool when the vacuum that prevents the engine from sucking all the gasoline straight into the engine when I press on the pedal broke. It wasn't cool when heating knob broke, preventing me from doing anything but defrosting my windshield. It wasn't cool when the tire spontaneously developed a hole. Previously, it was not cool the front headlight literally flew off the car, and it wasn't cool when the tie rod decided to snap. It was sort of cool when you ran over that ladder, but that's not cool enough to redeem you. Gyah.
Third, health insurance, why do you not cover any of the prescriptions I want to buy? Wait, that's because I selected "Healthy young single male insurance." I'll give you a pass.
Fourth, JJ, why do you continue to puke on my floor right in the doorway where I absolutely have to walk, usually without shoes on? And why did you knock my cough syrup under that damnable bike in my apartment, where I wouldn't find it this morning? Why do you spend all night meowing at a wall? And what in the name of all things holy did you do with my glasses?
Fifth, Cute Chick That Works At Meijer on Night Shift, why do you look the other way anytime I'm walking toward you? You are supposed to smile and flirt shamelessly with me, which will no doubt make me uncomfortable and all stammery. Please correct this in the future.
All right. I'm not all gripes; no, I'm all for solutions. Here are my solutions.
1. Sinusectomy.
Pros: Sinuses will never be infected again.
Cons: Probably not covered by worthless insurance (see solution 3).
2. Give the car to charity, buy a scooter.
Pros: Better gas mileage, at least as much climate control.
Cons: Difficult to pick up groceries. Or chicks.
3. Move to Sweden.
Pros: Fish! Meatballs! Chefs! Bikini Teams! The lovely lakes. The wonderful telephone system. Many interesting furry animals. And the Majestic Moose!
Cons: A moose once bit my sister. No really, she was carving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given to her by Svenge, her brother-in-law, an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist," "Fillings of Passion," and "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink." Mind you, moose bites can be pretty nasty.
4. Squirt guns. Lots of friggin' squirt guns.
Pros: Cheap.
Cons: Since I'm not around when he does it, it'll seem like random meanness instead of legitimate punishment.
5. Actually go up and talk to her.
Pros: I would get noticed.
Cons: I would get noticed.
OR
5. Flirt with the cute girls who work at Hardees instead.
Pros: They usually flirt with me first. There is two of them.
Cons: It's probably because I'm the only customer who isn't a smelly 55 year old obese trucker. Also, I can't afford to eat at Hardee's regularly.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The Most Annoying Feeling Ever and Other News
There are a great many things in this world that make me feel stupid and frustrated, but I think the most annoying of them would have to be losing my glasses.
First, my glasses are probably number three on my important things to never lose list, behind my wallet and my keys. I should always, always know exactly where my glasses are.
Second, I don't really have a lot of places where I could leave my glasses. I either take them off on my computer desk before heading to brush my teeth, in my bathroom after brushing my teeth before heading to bed, or on my bedside stand before falling asleep. When they do not seem to be in any of these places, my mind just shuts off and I end up looking everywhere imaginable, throwing all logic and reason out the window. Was I watching a movie or playing XBox before I went to bed? Maybe the TV is the right place. Did I get a snack before going to bed? Check the pantry. What about the piano? Maybe I was practicing. Check there. Did I take them to work and leave them in the car? It's possible. Check the car.
Third, and this is the most frustrating thing, I know exactly where the last place I had them was. They were on the roll of toilet paper on my bathroom sink. They're not there now.
Fourth, I'm sick, and any time my head is positioned somewhere other than directly above my neck and shoulders, I get a horrible pounding headache. This makes getting on the floor and looking for my glasses a literal headache that I just don't want to experience right now.
Bah. If anyone finds my glasses, could you let me know? They could be anywhere at this point.
Other news: I went to the doctor and got charged a good million dollars for my prescriptions. My deductible is higher than I could ever fill in a year. Oh, I went to the doctor because I have a sinus infection from hell combined with a touch of bronchitis. This has resulted in my sneezing and coughing continuously. On the plus side, I put on a clinic on how to properly sneeze and cough for my coworkers on Thursday. On the downside, I had to use my last sick day until December 2, so I could be in a spot. Also on the plus side, depsite the fact that my prescriptions cost a buttload of money, they seem to be working, so the next time I have a sinus infection, I'll have the Nasonex at the ready.
Also on the downside, I'm going to be broke until my next paycheck, which is pretty much already spent on bills. Having no money for a month is probably not a feasible option, so I now I'm going to have to, horrors, work overtime.
First, my glasses are probably number three on my important things to never lose list, behind my wallet and my keys. I should always, always know exactly where my glasses are.
Second, I don't really have a lot of places where I could leave my glasses. I either take them off on my computer desk before heading to brush my teeth, in my bathroom after brushing my teeth before heading to bed, or on my bedside stand before falling asleep. When they do not seem to be in any of these places, my mind just shuts off and I end up looking everywhere imaginable, throwing all logic and reason out the window. Was I watching a movie or playing XBox before I went to bed? Maybe the TV is the right place. Did I get a snack before going to bed? Check the pantry. What about the piano? Maybe I was practicing. Check there. Did I take them to work and leave them in the car? It's possible. Check the car.
Third, and this is the most frustrating thing, I know exactly where the last place I had them was. They were on the roll of toilet paper on my bathroom sink. They're not there now.
Fourth, I'm sick, and any time my head is positioned somewhere other than directly above my neck and shoulders, I get a horrible pounding headache. This makes getting on the floor and looking for my glasses a literal headache that I just don't want to experience right now.
Bah. If anyone finds my glasses, could you let me know? They could be anywhere at this point.
Other news: I went to the doctor and got charged a good million dollars for my prescriptions. My deductible is higher than I could ever fill in a year. Oh, I went to the doctor because I have a sinus infection from hell combined with a touch of bronchitis. This has resulted in my sneezing and coughing continuously. On the plus side, I put on a clinic on how to properly sneeze and cough for my coworkers on Thursday. On the downside, I had to use my last sick day until December 2, so I could be in a spot. Also on the plus side, depsite the fact that my prescriptions cost a buttload of money, they seem to be working, so the next time I have a sinus infection, I'll have the Nasonex at the ready.
Also on the downside, I'm going to be broke until my next paycheck, which is pretty much already spent on bills. Having no money for a month is probably not a feasible option, so I now I'm going to have to, horrors, work overtime.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Poor Poor Pitiful Me
You know what sucks? Having problems, that's what. It's such a total drag that my personality and behaviors have been aligned so as to avoid ever having any problems at all. Because they suck.
You know what else sucks? Having problems that are totally not as important as everyone else's. My problems are so not serious that I feel guilty even complaining about them. It'd be like me going up to a leukemia victim and saying, "Yeah, that cancer business is probably rough, but I've got some serious respiratory issues too. I've got this zit right under my right nostril that is constantly agitating my nose and making me sneeze frequently. It's pretty rough."
But anyways. Here's my list of stuff that's bumming me out:
I'm not sorta kinda dating Rachel anymore, and that makes me sad in a very, very selfish and personal sort of way.
- Also I am exceptionally awful at meeting women, so it doesn't appear that I'll be dating anyone anytime soon.
-- Well, ok, my mom has been trying to introduce me to a new teacher at the elementary she thinks I'd like. According to Mom, "She's blonde... and she's tall. Those are good things."
--- However, if she teaches during the day, and I attend psychiatrically during the evenings, that leaves approximately half an hour a day that I might be able to talk to her. I am not optimistic.
---- I cancelled my subscription to Yahoo! Personals after it insisted for months that no one within 50 miles was interested in dating me.
----- Moving on.
My car is falling apart, one light and knob at a time. My passenger tire randomly went flat.
- I have no spare.
-- My car's vacuum is also not working properly, I'm told.
--- I've been dead broke up until today, and next paycheck is already earmarked for bills, so my hopes of having money in the bank for a couple of weeks have been absolutely shot.
All of my friends, Rachel included, are going through way worse stuff than this right now. Worse, only two of them seem vaguely concerned or aware that I'm having problems.
You know what else sucks? Having problems that are totally not as important as everyone else's. My problems are so not serious that I feel guilty even complaining about them. It'd be like me going up to a leukemia victim and saying, "Yeah, that cancer business is probably rough, but I've got some serious respiratory issues too. I've got this zit right under my right nostril that is constantly agitating my nose and making me sneeze frequently. It's pretty rough."
But anyways. Here's my list of stuff that's bumming me out:
I'm not sorta kinda dating Rachel anymore, and that makes me sad in a very, very selfish and personal sort of way.
- Also I am exceptionally awful at meeting women, so it doesn't appear that I'll be dating anyone anytime soon.
-- Well, ok, my mom has been trying to introduce me to a new teacher at the elementary she thinks I'd like. According to Mom, "She's blonde... and she's tall. Those are good things."
--- However, if she teaches during the day, and I attend psychiatrically during the evenings, that leaves approximately half an hour a day that I might be able to talk to her. I am not optimistic.
---- I cancelled my subscription to Yahoo! Personals after it insisted for months that no one within 50 miles was interested in dating me.
----- Moving on.
My car is falling apart, one light and knob at a time. My passenger tire randomly went flat.
- I have no spare.
-- My car's vacuum is also not working properly, I'm told.
--- I've been dead broke up until today, and next paycheck is already earmarked for bills, so my hopes of having money in the bank for a couple of weeks have been absolutely shot.
All of my friends, Rachel included, are going through way worse stuff than this right now. Worse, only two of them seem vaguely concerned or aware that I'm having problems.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Remember my blog?
It was pretty cool. I want to come back to it. I think I'll work my way slowly.
Where to start? BerryBird tagged me with a meme. It involves posting my desktop. My desktop is not the slightest bit cool. I need to cool it up a little before I participate.
A research study was done that showed that of all segments of the workforce, direct care staff at mental institutions and nursing homes are the most likely to suffer from depression. You know what's hard? Seeing your coworkers being depressed and feeling useless. You know what's harder? Actually taking care of people while you're depressed.
What else we got here? I'm sort of kind of dating someone now. It's my coworker Rachel. She was dating someone else when she started working at the hospital, who is also employed at the hospital, which has made for several uncomfortable moments. Also, the other interested party was perusing my blog for awhile, looking for dirt to dig up on me. Most people, it turns out, publish all their dirty laundry on the internets for the whole world to read. When I told Jeff this, he said, "What was he going to find out? Your new awesome method for ranking your favorite bands?" I told Jeff to shut up. This was another reason I didn't care to recount my life adventures for awhile. I felt it would keep some wounds open a little too long, and I don't particularly enjoy hurting people. In fact, I don't enjoy hurting people at all. Ever, really.
But, Rachel has a daughter, which means when I'm sort of kind of casually seeing her, we have to be at her house, which means we mostly watch movies, and since Rachel has a soft spot for low-budget B movies that went direct to DVD, I get to see quite the eclectic mix. I've watched a few zillion movies over the past couple of months. I could easily turn this into "Andy Comments on Movies, Both Silly and Serious." Here are a few vignettes:
A Beautiful Mind: Dad recommended this. I really enjoyed it, which surprised me, as it stars Russell Crowe. However, it's about a subject near and dear to me, so I got into it.
Cheerleader Ninjas: You know, I don't ask for a lot in movies. They don't need to be smart, or particularly funny, or even good. They just need to entertain me for at least an hour if its your typical 90 minute movie. You'd think a movie called Cheerleader Ninjas could accomplish this meager task. After all, how hard could it be to make Cheerleader Ninjas. You take cheerleaders, give them katanas, send them on a mission, and zany sexy hijinx ensue. None of that happens in this movie. For that matter, nothing happens in this movie. At least, nothing that makes a damn bit of sense. The cheerleaders aren't even frickin' ninjas, for pete's sake. The movie ends up being one long in 'joke' about how bad and stupid the movie is. Gyah. I can't even write how bad this was. All I wanted was some cheerleader ninjas.
Frankenfish: On the other side of the low-budget coin we have this gem. Do we have giant, man-eating mutated fish? Why yes, we do. Do we have a creepy locale for these fish to hunt near helpless humans? But of course. Do we have easily recognizable character archetypes, allowing astute observers to try to predict order of death? We certainly do. Were the deaths gruesome, yet memorable and creative? You know it. Was there at least one decent actor in the cast? Actually, yes there was. Was there at least one absolutely terrible actor? Yes, but she was hot, so we forgave her. See, Cheerleader Ninjas people? This movie making stuff isn't so complex after all. Frankenfish even managed to work gratuitous nudity into the plot more smoothly than Cheerleader Ninjas, and there was nary a cheerleader in sight for the entire course of the plot. All of these pluses let me forgive the fact that the ending was a bit rushed and anti-climactic. Oh well.
Rain Man: When I tell people I saw Rain Man for the first time a couple weeks ago, they look at me like I'm crazy. I think it might be in contention for my favorite ever, up there with O Brother, Where Art Thou? and Benny and Joon, which is surprising since it co-stars Tom Cruise. You know what my favorite line is? "Definitely trapped... in some sort of box... with no tv... and 10 minutes 'til Wapner." It's followed up by "They're making legal history in there, Ray, and you're missing it. LEGAL HISTORY!"
In other Dustin Hoffman-related news, I saw The Graduate for the first time ever, and the ending of Wayne's World 2 is suddenly much more entertaining.
Ok, that'll do for now. I'll try to keep up a little better now.
Where to start? BerryBird tagged me with a meme. It involves posting my desktop. My desktop is not the slightest bit cool. I need to cool it up a little before I participate.
A research study was done that showed that of all segments of the workforce, direct care staff at mental institutions and nursing homes are the most likely to suffer from depression. You know what's hard? Seeing your coworkers being depressed and feeling useless. You know what's harder? Actually taking care of people while you're depressed.
What else we got here? I'm sort of kind of dating someone now. It's my coworker Rachel. She was dating someone else when she started working at the hospital, who is also employed at the hospital, which has made for several uncomfortable moments. Also, the other interested party was perusing my blog for awhile, looking for dirt to dig up on me. Most people, it turns out, publish all their dirty laundry on the internets for the whole world to read. When I told Jeff this, he said, "What was he going to find out? Your new awesome method for ranking your favorite bands?" I told Jeff to shut up. This was another reason I didn't care to recount my life adventures for awhile. I felt it would keep some wounds open a little too long, and I don't particularly enjoy hurting people. In fact, I don't enjoy hurting people at all. Ever, really.
But, Rachel has a daughter, which means when I'm sort of kind of casually seeing her, we have to be at her house, which means we mostly watch movies, and since Rachel has a soft spot for low-budget B movies that went direct to DVD, I get to see quite the eclectic mix. I've watched a few zillion movies over the past couple of months. I could easily turn this into "Andy Comments on Movies, Both Silly and Serious." Here are a few vignettes:
A Beautiful Mind: Dad recommended this. I really enjoyed it, which surprised me, as it stars Russell Crowe. However, it's about a subject near and dear to me, so I got into it.
Cheerleader Ninjas: You know, I don't ask for a lot in movies. They don't need to be smart, or particularly funny, or even good. They just need to entertain me for at least an hour if its your typical 90 minute movie. You'd think a movie called Cheerleader Ninjas could accomplish this meager task. After all, how hard could it be to make Cheerleader Ninjas. You take cheerleaders, give them katanas, send them on a mission, and zany sexy hijinx ensue. None of that happens in this movie. For that matter, nothing happens in this movie. At least, nothing that makes a damn bit of sense. The cheerleaders aren't even frickin' ninjas, for pete's sake. The movie ends up being one long in 'joke' about how bad and stupid the movie is. Gyah. I can't even write how bad this was. All I wanted was some cheerleader ninjas.
Frankenfish: On the other side of the low-budget coin we have this gem. Do we have giant, man-eating mutated fish? Why yes, we do. Do we have a creepy locale for these fish to hunt near helpless humans? But of course. Do we have easily recognizable character archetypes, allowing astute observers to try to predict order of death? We certainly do. Were the deaths gruesome, yet memorable and creative? You know it. Was there at least one decent actor in the cast? Actually, yes there was. Was there at least one absolutely terrible actor? Yes, but she was hot, so we forgave her. See, Cheerleader Ninjas people? This movie making stuff isn't so complex after all. Frankenfish even managed to work gratuitous nudity into the plot more smoothly than Cheerleader Ninjas, and there was nary a cheerleader in sight for the entire course of the plot. All of these pluses let me forgive the fact that the ending was a bit rushed and anti-climactic. Oh well.
Rain Man: When I tell people I saw Rain Man for the first time a couple weeks ago, they look at me like I'm crazy. I think it might be in contention for my favorite ever, up there with O Brother, Where Art Thou? and Benny and Joon, which is surprising since it co-stars Tom Cruise. You know what my favorite line is? "Definitely trapped... in some sort of box... with no tv... and 10 minutes 'til Wapner." It's followed up by "They're making legal history in there, Ray, and you're missing it. LEGAL HISTORY!"
In other Dustin Hoffman-related news, I saw The Graduate for the first time ever, and the ending of Wayne's World 2 is suddenly much more entertaining.
Ok, that'll do for now. I'll try to keep up a little better now.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
How Did I Not Know About This?
So considering video games and rock n roll music are two of my all-time favorite things, with ironic mocking sarcarsm coming in at a close third, how did I not know that Journey had its own terrible arcade game in the early '80s? Apparently, it was conceived to be released at the same time that their American tour was happening in 1983. You control the five members of the band as they fly through the galaxy in a spaceship, traveling to different planets to recover their lost instruments. Then you play a concert while an actual tape deck in the machine plays "Separate Ways". Working machines are very hard to find.
Here's an action-packed clip, because I don't think I would've believed this without proof.
You'll notice that once Steve Perry recovers his microphone, it turns into a high powered auto-cannon.
Here's an action-packed clip, because I don't think I would've believed this without proof.
You'll notice that once Steve Perry recovers his microphone, it turns into a high powered auto-cannon.
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Question On Everyone's Mind
"Andy, if you met a space alien visiting Earth and he wanted to know what Rock 'n' Roll was, who would you instruct him to listen to?"
Glad you all asked. You certainly would not send him toward ELO, what with the uncommon emphasis on the strings. You wouldn't tell him to listen to The Beatles, either. At the beginning, they have too much of a stripped down pop sound, and towards the end, they venture too far into arcane psychedelia to be considered representative. Warren Zevon is too weird. Elton John is too piano-centric and soft. Journey is too ridiculous.
Instead I'd point him in the direction of Jackson Brown. I'm not familiar with the entire Jackson Brown canon; in fact, my knowledge is pretty much limited to his cover of "Stay", "Runnin' on Empty", and "The Pretender," but I feel pretty comfortable recommending him. See, when you listen to Jackson Brown, the piano does exactly what you'd expect in a rock and roll song. The guitar follows suit. The vocal line doesn't try anything too daring and relies on the singer's warm low baritone to fill out the sound. Some simple but entertaining solos might pop up here and there. The tempo stays at a fair, mid-tempo clip. The lyrics are thoughtful without being shocking or relying too heavily on dumb cliches. The female back-up singers come in at appropriate times and sing the expected words.
In short, the song never deviates from the formula. It sounds exactly as you'd expect a rock and roll song to sound. Not that this is a bad thing; just an example of beauty found within the form.
Anyone have a different suggestion?
Glad you all asked. You certainly would not send him toward ELO, what with the uncommon emphasis on the strings. You wouldn't tell him to listen to The Beatles, either. At the beginning, they have too much of a stripped down pop sound, and towards the end, they venture too far into arcane psychedelia to be considered representative. Warren Zevon is too weird. Elton John is too piano-centric and soft. Journey is too ridiculous.
Instead I'd point him in the direction of Jackson Brown. I'm not familiar with the entire Jackson Brown canon; in fact, my knowledge is pretty much limited to his cover of "Stay", "Runnin' on Empty", and "The Pretender," but I feel pretty comfortable recommending him. See, when you listen to Jackson Brown, the piano does exactly what you'd expect in a rock and roll song. The guitar follows suit. The vocal line doesn't try anything too daring and relies on the singer's warm low baritone to fill out the sound. Some simple but entertaining solos might pop up here and there. The tempo stays at a fair, mid-tempo clip. The lyrics are thoughtful without being shocking or relying too heavily on dumb cliches. The female back-up singers come in at appropriate times and sing the expected words.
In short, the song never deviates from the formula. It sounds exactly as you'd expect a rock and roll song to sound. Not that this is a bad thing; just an example of beauty found within the form.
Anyone have a different suggestion?
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