Sunday, May 20, 2007

OWWW My Self-Respect!

So, I'm not exactly tired, despite the fact that I usually try to go to bed at 5 am. As a result of this, I decided to do some form of exercises to tire myself out so I can go to sleep soon enough to get a decent amount of rest.

Rather than waste my time with strength exercises, I skip straight to aerobic stuff. This involves mostly turning on some 70s funk* and grooving enthusiastically until I get tired of getting down. I start out pretty calmly, then proceed to get wilder, doing jumps, and spins, while attempting a few rudimentary breakdancing maneuvers.

Now, I have a very strangely laid out apartment. It consists of two bedrooms, a kitchen, a random room, a bathroom, and a living room that are nearly completely unconnected that independently branch off from a very long hallway. The hallway is long enough that a long-legged 6'4"ian like myself can take 25 full steps. My workout soon required me to dance up and down the hall, very quickly, until I was nigh-on sprinting with my leaps and bounds until...

::KLONGGG::

::THUDD::

OWWWWWW!!! GODDAMN THAT HURT!!!

It turns out that some careless individual left his 20 lb hand weights against the wall in the hallway rather than their assigned place in the random room, and in the midst of getting my groove on, I tripped over them while moving at a very high speed and hit the door at the end of the hall, picking up a couple of rug burns on my knees for good measure. Worse, I did not clip my toenails this morning as I had planned due to me running late from sleeping in, and so they were a little too long for safety in a head on collision. One broke off and cut one of my toes. And all of my toes are bruising quite quickly.

And I appear to be out of ibuprofen. Luckily I've got an ice pack to keep the swelling down. In the meantime, my aerobic workout has been changed from "full body funk groove" to "white man's overbite".

This is easily the dumbest, most humiliating injury I have ever incurred, and stupidity of this magnitude demands to be shared with anyone who will listen.

*The particular song? "Strawberry Letter #23" by the Brothers Johnson.

6 comments:

Nadine said...

And I thought it was sad yesterday when I had no ibuprofen for my slight headache...

BerryBird said...

Wishing you a speedy recovery on your grooving injury.

Casey said...

Dude. You are a dork.

Dr. Corndog said...

I thought you were ready for the Brothers Johnson, but clearly, we need to work up to the maximum funk level. So, we re-group with some Average White Band, like "Cut the Cake" and maybe "Boogie Shoes" by KC and the Sunshine Band, then transition to "Brick House" by the Coomodores and Kool and the Gang's "Jungle Boogie". That should prepare you for "Strawberry Letter #23" as well as Tower of Power's "What is Hip?" and "Serpentine Fire" by Earth, Wind and Fire.

Hope you're feeling better.

Andy said...

Everyone, sufficient wrapping, ibuprofen, and neosporin has pretty much healed my foot. I'm quite all right, and able to slide, groove, and strut without issue once more.
Thanks for your concerns.

Casey, I find embarrassing self-deprecation to be blogging gold. But yes, I am a dork.

Corndog, I think I'm at the "Jungle Boogie" level at the moment. It's just that the jump to "Strawberry Letter #23" was drastic and all-consuming. I think it was the shock of hearing the maximum funk level. I can take it now.

Casey said...

Well, I meant it in a good way.