Housekeeping Note: There may be a new feature in the works here, to be implemented on Sundays. I like blogging, but I'm very bad at coming up with titles for my posts, so I'm thinking every week, I should have a theme, and all post titles have to fit in that theme. This week, I decree that theme to be... Billy Joel lyrics. Have you heard Billy Joel's lyrics? I think his favorite lyrical device is to state the obvious like it's something profound, as in "She steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me." He's somewhat like a lyrical version of the Sphinx from Mystery Men.
So yes, Billy Joel Lyric Week is upon us, assuming I can write the posts without going into long tangents about how goofy the lyrics are. If anyone is brave enough to join in, well, more power to you.
Now, on to today's video.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It's Too Bad Procrastination Doesn't Start With M
Nadine at In Blue Ink offered this meme to me sometime on Monday, and I thought I should probably do it before the week was out.
10 Things I Like That Start With... M
1. Memes. They almost write themselves, and they often reveal way too much about the person writing them. A veritable blogging gold mine, right up there with self-deprecation and hilarious injuries.
2. Motown: The music, not the city. Does anyone like the city, filled with crime and hate-filled sports fans? I don't think so. But Bill Withers, Stevie Wonder, and co., yeah. I dig it.
3. More: I'm a pack rat. I never get rid of anything.
4. Muppets: I crack up every time I watch The Muppet Movie. If I were a Muppet, I would easily be Kermit the Frog: I'm just a happy, laidback dude who helps rein in his absurd friends and is attracted to abusive relationships.
5. Mark Trail: At first, I just liked laughing at the oddly-placed word balloons. Then I liked laughing at the oddly stilted dialogue. Then I liked making up funny back stories based on the way the characters are drawn. Then I came full circle, and like actually reading the ridiculous plots and figuring out where they'll go. That's entertainment on at least 4 levels from a comic strip that isn't even intended to be funny. I don't really understand how people dislike Mark Trail.
6. Me. I have very high, very unjustified self-esteem. I'm amazed I didn't think of this one sooner.
7. Mentally Ill/Developmentally Delayed clients I take care of: My job requires me to care for them and help take care of them. And I love it, although considerably less on the days when they attempt to beat the ever loving crap out of me. Usually, though, it's a good time, and a very rewarding job when you finally make that breakthrough with a client. Plus, they can be really, really funny:
Andy: Hey, [female client], please take a shower today.
Client: I'm not [female client]. I'm the Devil.
Andy: Ok, The Devil, take a shower.
Client: No.
Andy: When did you become the Devil?
Client: Well, I used to be the most beautiful angel in Heaven, but then I wanted to be above the Lord, so he cast me down into a pit of fire and I turned into the Devil.
Andy: Well, ask a stupid question...
Client: Huh?
Andy: Nevermind. Take a shower.
8. Minnesota: I like it so much that one day next week I will finish my Minnesotan excursion wrap-up.
9. My Mom. I was a pretty good kid and didn't really put her through much grief, but considering the fact that I look like my dad, talk like my dad, and act like my dad, I'm guessing my presence didn't really make living through 12 years of divorce any easier. Plus, she lets me do my laundry for free at her house.
10. Moon Pies. Marshmallow and chocolate: a combination that will never fail you.
Now, looking through the history of this one, it appears that I don't actually get to say "Hey you! Fill this out on the letter X! Muhuhahahahaha." Instead, I have to ask, "Uh, if you want to play, then I can give you a letter in comments or something." So let me know if this one hasn't hit you yet.
10 Things I Like That Start With... M
1. Memes. They almost write themselves, and they often reveal way too much about the person writing them. A veritable blogging gold mine, right up there with self-deprecation and hilarious injuries.
2. Motown: The music, not the city. Does anyone like the city, filled with crime and hate-filled sports fans? I don't think so. But Bill Withers, Stevie Wonder, and co., yeah. I dig it.
3. More: I'm a pack rat. I never get rid of anything.
4. Muppets: I crack up every time I watch The Muppet Movie. If I were a Muppet, I would easily be Kermit the Frog: I'm just a happy, laidback dude who helps rein in his absurd friends and is attracted to abusive relationships.
5. Mark Trail: At first, I just liked laughing at the oddly-placed word balloons. Then I liked laughing at the oddly stilted dialogue. Then I liked making up funny back stories based on the way the characters are drawn. Then I came full circle, and like actually reading the ridiculous plots and figuring out where they'll go. That's entertainment on at least 4 levels from a comic strip that isn't even intended to be funny. I don't really understand how people dislike Mark Trail.
6. Me. I have very high, very unjustified self-esteem. I'm amazed I didn't think of this one sooner.
7. Mentally Ill/Developmentally Delayed clients I take care of: My job requires me to care for them and help take care of them. And I love it, although considerably less on the days when they attempt to beat the ever loving crap out of me. Usually, though, it's a good time, and a very rewarding job when you finally make that breakthrough with a client. Plus, they can be really, really funny:
Andy: Hey, [female client], please take a shower today.
Client: I'm not [female client]. I'm the Devil.
Andy: Ok, The Devil, take a shower.
Client: No.
Andy: When did you become the Devil?
Client: Well, I used to be the most beautiful angel in Heaven, but then I wanted to be above the Lord, so he cast me down into a pit of fire and I turned into the Devil.
Andy: Well, ask a stupid question...
Client: Huh?
Andy: Nevermind. Take a shower.
8. Minnesota: I like it so much that one day next week I will finish my Minnesotan excursion wrap-up.
9. My Mom. I was a pretty good kid and didn't really put her through much grief, but considering the fact that I look like my dad, talk like my dad, and act like my dad, I'm guessing my presence didn't really make living through 12 years of divorce any easier. Plus, she lets me do my laundry for free at her house.
10. Moon Pies. Marshmallow and chocolate: a combination that will never fail you.
Now, looking through the history of this one, it appears that I don't actually get to say "Hey you! Fill this out on the letter X! Muhuhahahahaha." Instead, I have to ask, "Uh, if you want to play, then I can give you a letter in comments or something." So let me know if this one hasn't hit you yet.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The Puppy Might Represent Loyalty Too.
"That's not fair!" Throughout life, one can hear these three small words railing against an offense foisted upon them by an uncaring world. However, seldom does one ask "What is fair?" In Steven Seagal's Out For Justice, NYPD detective Gino Felino spends a night pursuing Richie Madano, a criminal who shot his partner and best friend Bobby Lupo, while contemplating the nature of justice, loyalty, and social responsibility.
As the title suggests, Felino spends much of his evening considering what the most just course of action should be. Through his care for the abandoned puppy, his dealings with the Brooklyn mob, and his level playing field approach toward Madano and his henchmen, Felino demonstrates that true justice should involve a consensus-based approach that gives the accused a chance to defend themselves but places highest priority on protecting the innocent. Before he begins his search for Madano, Felino checks in with the Brooklyn mob to find out their take on Madano's actions. Felino does not make the error of assuming that Madano's actions were sanctioned by the mob, and thus spares the neighborhood a gruesome all-out gang war. Instead, Felino and Don Vittorio come to an uneasy truce that they will work together to bring Madano to justice, be it at the hands of the police or the mob. Felino's actions show that justice is a concept that we are all devoted to, and that no matter how unorthodox the source, all opinions must be accounted for to form a consensus on the proper action.
In the early phase of his search, Felino observes a driver in front of him drop a trash bag out of his car window while driving down the street. Felino stops and opens the bag to find a puppy and immediately decides to adopt it. Felino's new puppy accompanies him for the rest of his manhunt and symbolizes justice's mission to protect the innocent and helpless.
When Felino confronts Madano's men, the criminals often resort to violence. During these scenes, Felino only goes for a deathblow if an innocent is at risk, and, whenever possible, avoids using his hand gun. If the criminal is unarmed, Felino frequently unloads his gun and throws it away, using only as much force as necessary to apprehend the suspect. Felino's approach toward enforcement shows his belief that Justice should not use excessive force, regardless of how personally involved one is in the crime.
In addition to his external conflict with Madano, Felino undergoes an intense internal conflict regarding his personal loyalties. Through the night, Felino must balance his often contradictory loyalties in order to take the correct action. Felino's loyalty to his family is immediately called into question, as his only visitation weekend with his son for months is interrupted by his superior's call. Felino, Lupo, and Madano are all from the same neighborhood, which is run by Don Vittorio. Loyalty to the 'hood runs high, and Felino walks a fine line between protecting his neighbors and persecuting anyone involved with Madano, a group that includes most of his friends. Felino's father died when he was young, and we learn that Madano's father took Felino under his wing to help raise him. By dealing with the mob, Felino's dedication to the police force and proper investigative techniques is called into question. When Felino learns that Lupo was dirty and having an affair, he must question whether his friend's killing was in itself an act of justice, throwing him deeper into his existential crisis.
Finally, Out For Justice explores and shakes up the very foundation of the concept of social responsibility. Felino's neighborhood is an urban Grover's Corners: everyone knows everyone else's affairs, and the audience is led to believe that few people leave the area after entering adulthood. In this community, it is the mob, not the police, church, or any civic organization, that most serves the community. All of the businesses are mob businesses. Males are expected to join the Family upon adulthood similar to how generals' sons are expected to join the military. Felino remarks to a childhood friend who is now a mob lieutenant, "Who woulda thought, huh? Me, becoming a cop?" commenting on the singular oddity of his career choice. Italian is the language of choice on the streets. Felino, acutely aware that his actions are outside the accepted support structure of the community, tailors his actions to fit his surroundings, thus blending the traditional role of law enforcement with the local expectations of law enforcement. By contrasting the effectiveness of the mob and the apathy of the non-Felino police, Out For Justice suggests the radical notion that the public would be better served by a private, localized force than a city-wide bureaucracy.
In conclusion, through his night-long manhunt, Felino provides the audience insight into the application and meaning of justice by examing and centering his own biases and loyalties. Like Felino, all of us are out for justice, and from his experience we can learn that True Justice can only be accomplished through a thoughtful consensus and a means that all involved parties are comfortable with.
As the title suggests, Felino spends much of his evening considering what the most just course of action should be. Through his care for the abandoned puppy, his dealings with the Brooklyn mob, and his level playing field approach toward Madano and his henchmen, Felino demonstrates that true justice should involve a consensus-based approach that gives the accused a chance to defend themselves but places highest priority on protecting the innocent. Before he begins his search for Madano, Felino checks in with the Brooklyn mob to find out their take on Madano's actions. Felino does not make the error of assuming that Madano's actions were sanctioned by the mob, and thus spares the neighborhood a gruesome all-out gang war. Instead, Felino and Don Vittorio come to an uneasy truce that they will work together to bring Madano to justice, be it at the hands of the police or the mob. Felino's actions show that justice is a concept that we are all devoted to, and that no matter how unorthodox the source, all opinions must be accounted for to form a consensus on the proper action.
In the early phase of his search, Felino observes a driver in front of him drop a trash bag out of his car window while driving down the street. Felino stops and opens the bag to find a puppy and immediately decides to adopt it. Felino's new puppy accompanies him for the rest of his manhunt and symbolizes justice's mission to protect the innocent and helpless.
When Felino confronts Madano's men, the criminals often resort to violence. During these scenes, Felino only goes for a deathblow if an innocent is at risk, and, whenever possible, avoids using his hand gun. If the criminal is unarmed, Felino frequently unloads his gun and throws it away, using only as much force as necessary to apprehend the suspect. Felino's approach toward enforcement shows his belief that Justice should not use excessive force, regardless of how personally involved one is in the crime.
In addition to his external conflict with Madano, Felino undergoes an intense internal conflict regarding his personal loyalties. Through the night, Felino must balance his often contradictory loyalties in order to take the correct action. Felino's loyalty to his family is immediately called into question, as his only visitation weekend with his son for months is interrupted by his superior's call. Felino, Lupo, and Madano are all from the same neighborhood, which is run by Don Vittorio. Loyalty to the 'hood runs high, and Felino walks a fine line between protecting his neighbors and persecuting anyone involved with Madano, a group that includes most of his friends. Felino's father died when he was young, and we learn that Madano's father took Felino under his wing to help raise him. By dealing with the mob, Felino's dedication to the police force and proper investigative techniques is called into question. When Felino learns that Lupo was dirty and having an affair, he must question whether his friend's killing was in itself an act of justice, throwing him deeper into his existential crisis.
Finally, Out For Justice explores and shakes up the very foundation of the concept of social responsibility. Felino's neighborhood is an urban Grover's Corners: everyone knows everyone else's affairs, and the audience is led to believe that few people leave the area after entering adulthood. In this community, it is the mob, not the police, church, or any civic organization, that most serves the community. All of the businesses are mob businesses. Males are expected to join the Family upon adulthood similar to how generals' sons are expected to join the military. Felino remarks to a childhood friend who is now a mob lieutenant, "Who woulda thought, huh? Me, becoming a cop?" commenting on the singular oddity of his career choice. Italian is the language of choice on the streets. Felino, acutely aware that his actions are outside the accepted support structure of the community, tailors his actions to fit his surroundings, thus blending the traditional role of law enforcement with the local expectations of law enforcement. By contrasting the effectiveness of the mob and the apathy of the non-Felino police, Out For Justice suggests the radical notion that the public would be better served by a private, localized force than a city-wide bureaucracy.
In conclusion, through his night-long manhunt, Felino provides the audience insight into the application and meaning of justice by examing and centering his own biases and loyalties. Like Felino, all of us are out for justice, and from his experience we can learn that True Justice can only be accomplished through a thoughtful consensus and a means that all involved parties are comfortable with.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
OWWW My Self-Respect!
So, I'm not exactly tired, despite the fact that I usually try to go to bed at 5 am. As a result of this, I decided to do some form of exercises to tire myself out so I can go to sleep soon enough to get a decent amount of rest.
Rather than waste my time with strength exercises, I skip straight to aerobic stuff. This involves mostly turning on some 70s funk* and grooving enthusiastically until I get tired of getting down. I start out pretty calmly, then proceed to get wilder, doing jumps, and spins, while attempting a few rudimentary breakdancing maneuvers.
Now, I have a very strangely laid out apartment. It consists of two bedrooms, a kitchen, a random room, a bathroom, and a living room that are nearly completely unconnected that independently branch off from a very long hallway. The hallway is long enough that a long-legged 6'4"ian like myself can take 25 full steps. My workout soon required me to dance up and down the hall, very quickly, until I was nigh-on sprinting with my leaps and bounds until...
::KLONGGG::
::THUDD::
OWWWWWW!!! GODDAMN THAT HURT!!!
It turns out that some careless individual left his 20 lb hand weights against the wall in the hallway rather than their assigned place in the random room, and in the midst of getting my groove on, I tripped over them while moving at a very high speed and hit the door at the end of the hall, picking up a couple of rug burns on my knees for good measure. Worse, I did not clip my toenails this morning as I had planned due to me running late from sleeping in, and so they were a little too long for safety in a head on collision. One broke off and cut one of my toes. And all of my toes are bruising quite quickly.
And I appear to be out of ibuprofen. Luckily I've got an ice pack to keep the swelling down. In the meantime, my aerobic workout has been changed from "full body funk groove" to "white man's overbite".
This is easily the dumbest, most humiliating injury I have ever incurred, and stupidity of this magnitude demands to be shared with anyone who will listen.
*The particular song? "Strawberry Letter #23" by the Brothers Johnson.
Rather than waste my time with strength exercises, I skip straight to aerobic stuff. This involves mostly turning on some 70s funk* and grooving enthusiastically until I get tired of getting down. I start out pretty calmly, then proceed to get wilder, doing jumps, and spins, while attempting a few rudimentary breakdancing maneuvers.
Now, I have a very strangely laid out apartment. It consists of two bedrooms, a kitchen, a random room, a bathroom, and a living room that are nearly completely unconnected that independently branch off from a very long hallway. The hallway is long enough that a long-legged 6'4"ian like myself can take 25 full steps. My workout soon required me to dance up and down the hall, very quickly, until I was nigh-on sprinting with my leaps and bounds until...
::KLONGGG::
::THUDD::
OWWWWWW!!! GODDAMN THAT HURT!!!
It turns out that some careless individual left his 20 lb hand weights against the wall in the hallway rather than their assigned place in the random room, and in the midst of getting my groove on, I tripped over them while moving at a very high speed and hit the door at the end of the hall, picking up a couple of rug burns on my knees for good measure. Worse, I did not clip my toenails this morning as I had planned due to me running late from sleeping in, and so they were a little too long for safety in a head on collision. One broke off and cut one of my toes. And all of my toes are bruising quite quickly.
And I appear to be out of ibuprofen. Luckily I've got an ice pack to keep the swelling down. In the meantime, my aerobic workout has been changed from "full body funk groove" to "white man's overbite".
This is easily the dumbest, most humiliating injury I have ever incurred, and stupidity of this magnitude demands to be shared with anyone who will listen.
*The particular song? "Strawberry Letter #23" by the Brothers Johnson.
Well, It Was Part Right
Your results:
You are Lando Calrissian
(Qui-Gon Jinn was a very, very distant second.)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz
You are Lando Calrissian
| Tall, dark, and handsome. Not much seems to bother you. Maybe because you're so smooth. You truly belong with us here in the clouds.  |
(Qui-Gon Jinn was a very, very distant second.)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz
Friday, May 18, 2007
How To Strut
I have been told that I have a distinctive natural swagger to my walk that oozes pure awesome to all who see it, so I feel it's my public duty to teach those with simpler gaits how to access the opportunities that only a good strut can provide.
Step One: Purchase an iPod or a Portable CD Player.
Step Two: Purchase a copy of "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder.
Step Three: Walk while listening to it.
If this doesn't work, I just don't think there's hope for you.
Step One: Purchase an iPod or a Portable CD Player.
Step Two: Purchase a copy of "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder.
Step Three: Walk while listening to it.
If this doesn't work, I just don't think there's hope for you.
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