The NBA Draft was last night. I love the NBA Draft. This draft was the most hyped in years, because it included all of the following:
1. Greg Oden, the 19 year old who looks about 44.
2. Kevin Durant, the latest Next Michael Jordan who, unlike the previous Next Michael Jordans, appears to be good.
3. A 7'0" Chinaman named Yi Jianlian. The fun thing about Yi is that nobody knows how old he is. It's been rumored that the Chinese Government doctored his birth certificate so he could play in younger leagues. Then, to add to the fun, he got drafted by Milwaukee, where he said he didn't want to play based on the fact that there are no Asian-Americans for at least a few states. The NBA Draft is close to causing a full-fledged international incident because of the actions of a team that has no fans because all Wisconsonians are mostly Packer fans, and all NBA fans in the area probably cheer for the Bulls, who are only an hour and a half away and actually have winning seasons now and then.
4. Your usual cast of ridiculously tall guys in awesome, awesome suits.
However, as a Pacers fan, I was a little sad. It seems that last year we traded all of our picks in this year's draft away for a couple of players who were both gone halfway through the season. Luckily for us, it turns out that you can pick whoever you want in the second round simply by trading the team who picked the guy you want your second round pick for next year. Then the next year, you simply trade your second round pick for the next year during the second round for the guy you want. I have no idea why this works, but it's happened two years in a row now for my beloved team, so I'm just going to accept it.
Which brings me, in a roundabout way, to the good news. The newest Pacer is named Stanko. Stanko Barac. Stanko Stanko Stanko. The Stanko Era has begun. Behold the new Stanktastic Pacers. El Stankerino, if you're not into the whole 'brevity' thing. I can already hear the chanting fans as he checks into the line-up: STANK-OOO! STANK-OOOO! Yes, this is the most psyched I've been about the Pacers in years. I'm officially Stanktified.
Also, the Bulls drafted JamesOn Curry. I'm trying to figure out why the next to last letter of his name is capitalized, but so far, I've only found out that he enjoys writing poetry, listening to music, and watching movies. I'm familiar with the "put an extra syllable at the beginning of the name and capitalize the third letter" convention as seen in LaMario, LaMarcus, and DeShawn, but JamesOn is clearly taking this to the next level. I'm going to have to think on this one for awhile. AnDy. AndrEw. AndyOn. AnDeion. AndrewOn. StankOn. LaStanko. DeStanko. DeAndyOn. DeAndrewOn. So many possibilities. I might lose sleep over this.