I haven't been writing in this blog because I haven't been very funny lately. Oh sure. I'm funny at work, where I delight my coworkers with my near constant prattle about all things goofy and ridiculous. I'm funny with my friends, where we communicate constantly via running gags and inside jokes. I suppose I could relate various conversations with those people, but they always strike me as saying, "This is what it's like to be my friend! Don't you think it'd be fun?" when in reality it probably isn't a ton of fun to be my friend because I don't do much but stay in and make fun of everyone I know. Most people don't have that tolerance, or love for, abuse.
But I'm not particularly funny by myself right now. I'm not making my typical sarcasm-tinged mental notes about things I notice people I talk to.
Some people may say that I shouldn't censor myself on my own blog, that I shouldn't have to be funny, witty, or just tragically amusing to have an online presence. The principal problem is that I learned at a very young age that when I'm not funny, I'm an obnoxious elitist that has no friends, as opposed to the amusing, self-deprecating guy that has no friends that I am right now. I spent some time in college being depressed, and that wasn't as good as being funny either.
So I'm not posting on my blog. Except for this post, which also isn't particularly funny, but does explain why no funny blog posts have greeted the MILLIONS of people who read my blog.